how important is it for 2 families to be compatible? in terms of family size, attitudes, behavior, closeness etc?
for ex/ my immediate family is quite small but i have many extended relatives, whereas my husbands immediate family is large but they have a small # of extended relatives…also the attitudes and dynamics are polar opposites…not saying one is good or bad but yeah there’s differences..
I know in arranged marriage, one of the factors in choosing a rishta is that the families are checked out…where it may not be the case in a love marriage.
Do people entering a “love” marriage ever take the family into consideration?
frankly, after reading all these threads about inlaws and all, 90% of the time it seems like the girl goes into a family where the dynamics are totally opposite of the ones they grew up in and thus have a hard time adjusting.
I guess family compatibility is an issue thats why most of the people in pakistan prefer to get married in the same "caste". I had this argument with my friend and I asked him .. is caste matter and he said that one of the reason that my parents are okay with my love marriage is because they are from the same caste and when my family went there, it was so easy for them to get along since they and us carry the same "background" and had so many things in common to discuss and chat about .. ..
Family compatibility is very important to me because I am a very family oriented person. I would like to get along with his family and would want him to get along with mine. I think its so much fun to have family gatherings so if they didnt get along it wouldn't be any fun.
Do people entering a "love" marriage ever take the family into consideration?
I didn't at all, couldn't have cared less.. My brother had a love marriage as well but to another desi and their family is about as different as u can get from ours (different language, different-ish culture, much larger with more kids, more traditional values but her own mum is a bit more liberal)..
They don’t even look/evaluate the ‘lover’ properly…let alone the family 