Families tied by marriage learn to get along

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
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Families tied by marriage learn to get along
Indian culture is enriching if you give it a chance
By KRISTIN HARTY
[email protected]

My cousin Grant’s new wife said she thinks he must have at least one drop of Indian blood coursing through his veins.

She doesn’t know how else to explain his aplomb.

Because here’s a guy from Markesan, Wis. – population 1,396 – a 29-year-old, meat-and-potatoes, Midwestern guy eating chicken tikka masala (chicken in a curry cream sauce), wearing a traditional kurta and pajama, chatting with his new in-laws from India, looking shockingly at ease.

And this was on his wedding day.

My family and I watched Grant exchange vows with Sangeeta Alla, 31, in an extraordinarily unique wedding ceremony last weekend at their home near Danbury, Conn.

They live on a lake. They got married on their dock.

About half of the 50 or so guests were natives of India, the others Americans of Midwestern stock.

The geographic and cultural gaps could have swallowed up the whole affair.

What’s amazing and lovely is that they did not.

There were some awkward pauses, to be sure, during conversations among the guests. There were language barriers and other complications (neither my dad nor the groom’s father, for example, can hear worth a darn – even if you are speaking in the most impeccable English).

There was authentic Indian food, creating alarm among some of the more stoic Midwestern guests.

One of Grant’s uncles, who lives in Sioux Falls, S.D., couldn’t handle the curry.

“I don’t like eating surprises,” he said, covering up his plate with a napkin.

I’m pretty conservative myself when it comes to buffets. So I was sort of surprised that I tried (and liked) everything but the tandoori shrimp (I don’t care for seafood, no matter which ocean it comes from).

What impresses me most about Grant’s wedding day is how natural it all seemed. Sangeeta was breathtakingly beautiful in a white sari. Grant looked like he was born wearing those embroidered slippers from Hyderabad, serene and sure-footed as he repeated his vows.

My question is this: Where did this guy come from?

The Grant I remember was just a kid, taking piano lessons and riding around rural Wisconsin on a bike.

Now he’s grown up and handsome and utterly at ease around all things of India.

Sangeeta’s friend, Supriya Satish, attributes it to reincarnation.

“In his last life, he must have been an Indian,” she said.

Anything’s possible, I guess.

The way I see it, Grant grew up in a small town, but he didn’t let that stop him from becoming cosmopolitan. He has sought out people who are different from him because he wants to learn about the world and be a more rounded human being.

He’s quite a remarkable fellow.

I’m honored to be his cousin.

And I’m honored to welcome Sangeeta Alla-Reistad into our family.

http://www.chronicle-tribune.com/news/stories/20030831/localnews/164739.html

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That's the thing I like about westerners. At times they accept so easily, without reservations and questions. You can pick out their faults but it is they who have taught the world the true meaning of humanity, democracy and good manners.

Ok, am I getting carried away?

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The most interesting thing about the cultural differences is visible in this article. In western culture a bride wears white. So the bride here wore a white sari on her wedding. However, in Indian culture (hindus, atleast) a widow wears white (generally speaking). If there were some old Indian grandmother present she would have objected to it, saying its "badd shagooni".

Then again, intercultural marriages require a lot of give and take and a broader outlook at life and personality traits than the myopic views which are held dearly by many.

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why there is no article promoting dalit-brahmin marriage ?
we should start integration at home before integrating with rest of the world.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
The most interesting thing about the cultural differences is visible in this article. In western culture a bride wears white. So the bride here wore a white sari on her wedding. However, in Indian culture (hindus, atleast) a widow wears white (generally speaking). If there were some old Indian grandmother present she would have objected to it, saying its "badd shagooni".

Then again, intercultural marriages require a lot of give and take and a broader outlook at life and personality traits than the myopic views which are held dearly by many.
[/QUOTE]

True. If it had been my grandmom she would have fainted at seeing white. But then she would have consoled herself saying 'never mind, they're angrez, it doesn't count'. Naturally that would not have worked, so she would have called the pandit the next day and had a havan to ward off the bad luck, all the while thinking why did she have to get into this mess courtesy her grand-daughter.

As for give and take - sometimes that strenghtens character.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by rvikz: *
why there is no article promoting dalit-brahmin marriage ?
we should start integration at home before integrating with rest of the world.
[/QUOTE]

Rvikz, I'm sure there must be some. But we have all kinds at home, so let em pick and choose.

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there are tons of intercaste marriages. A lot more than something like this. Good post. It seems everyone enjoyed the wedding. Must have been a nice setting.