Motus,
you are not failing at parenthood!
I work in a setting where we have many new mummies coming in and believe me when I say most new mums have concerns and fall to pieces crying because they feel they are doing things wrong.
So my advice: the members who contributed to this post have all made very valuable points so if you can them on go for it
In England we have children's centres which are government run. They have various groups going on for new mummies/parents where you can go along and not only form friendships but you can speak to other mummies in a similar situation-which will help you as your mums far away from you.
We also have Mum2mum groups (breastfeeding support cafe) in England-these ladies not only support women who take to breastfeeding straight away but they can support anyone struggling who wishes to breastfeed.
Do you have any similar services in the US? Hope you do.x