There is a friend of my hubby who is almost in his early 40s. My hubby takes him not only as a friend but as an elder brother. (They have been friends for almost 7,8 years).
I feel the same and respect him as a brother and I must say, he is really REALLY a nice man. Clear and pure heart.
The only problem I have is, he has this habit of touching one’s shoulder when speaking to someone. Although its really minor to be noticed sometimes but I don’t like it.
We share a very respectful relationship and I know he thinks about me as a younger sister.. I am really younger than him and I am sure, he has no and he can NEVER have any bed intentions but its just its his habit. He touched my shoulder several times while speaking to me and does it with everyone too around, but still, I feel uncomfortable.
Haven’t discussed yet with my hubby, what if he would say, tum pagal ho gayee ho…?? also, asking him don’t do that, directly, will make him feel bad too..
Stand at least 4 feet away, seriously, no rocket science…now…But to serve the life1 minimum requirement, first answer a few questions…Is he married? Does he have kids?What kind of discussions do you have with him when he touches your shoulder? Does he grab it or touches it? Where is his wife when he is doing all this? Is he a Paki/Fob? Where is your husband when that happens…why doesn’t he notice this?..how are things between you and your husband…
Simply… if you are in doubt then you should not hurt him if he is doing it unwillingly… but next time when he do it make a weird/grumpy face and pause your discussion and see your shoulder… He himself will observe it and get embarrassed…
if not then next time ask him to remove his hand that your shoulder is paining… with some act…
or try to stay at a distance…
talking to husband should be a last option…
agar phir bhi baaz naa aaye to Laa Lena Juti
btw some people are habitual…so you might only have to make him realize
Next time touches you, look at his hand first (so he knows the cause) and THEN move back. You may have to do this more than once. Unless he’s really obtuse, he will get the message.
I can’t say him directly as he seems to me my elder bro. We have been together for a long time but I have noticed it for last few months. Telling hubby, I thought to share but… I don’t know, maybe it will be my last step eventually!!
I have always distant myself from my hubby’s friends, in fact, any man I am talking to. He would do it, for example, when we are in the Car, hubby and me on the front seat and he’s at back… so you know when one’s talking from the back seat, they usually bend themselves to the front so that the people on front can hear them. That’s when he does! and other examples like that!
Yes he is married. He has kids. The elder should be around 12. His wife is in Pak with kids. He is a Paki. Its all simple discussion as I already mentioned that I don’t have a single doubt on the niyat of this man. He is really a brother to me.
My husband is around when he is doing that but as I said, he doesn’t touch the shoulder too hard, its just that he slightly touches it. You know people who would touch you to address you or who would touch you to have attention… He does it that way.
Alhamdulillah, things between two of us are really great without a single doubt.
Read above paragraph.
HM, your idea sounds good, only that I will have to have a lot of courage to do that. I would not want to make him feel what I feel about him as it would hurt him and hurt his purity. I, with all my heart, know it, he has no evil intentions behind that. Its just his habit.
He doesn’t keep his hand on my shoulder. Its just a seconds act. You know when one touches you to have your attention.
Sorry but..touching someones wife or girlfriend on the shoulder is complete chichora pun. Heck..i dont go touch around my female friends..and this guy had huge guts. Anyway talk to ur husband…not sure yo. If a friend or someone did that to my wife…i will murder him.
bol doon phir apnay miyan ko??
