I now understand the core of your argument. You are saying, our support for NATO is the reason why tribals are killing our soldiers.
Correct?
There are a couple of reasons why many Pakistanis have bought into this "excuse" for tribal maddness, and thus they overtly or covertly support such heinous activities.
Reason 1 why many in Pakistan side with extremists - And that is.
"utter lack of respect for the modern nation-state concept".
Let me give you an example closer to home. Say if you live in Canada. And Canadian "nation state" decides to support USA in war in some African region. Say you have relatives living in Africa (not that you are an African). So you disagree with the policies of the Canadian nation state. Then how would you express your opposition? Well if you use modern concepts like news-media, assemblies, councils etc. you would be OK. But the day you pick up arms against your nation-state, you will immediately be subjected to state's juta. Mounties will lay seige of your compound and if you do not surrender, well you will be sent somewhere packing either in this world or the other world.
Remember nation-states make decisions, and the citizens cannot pick up arms against it.
There is difference here, if US is bombing people in Canada then I'm sure some (if not many) will join movement against US bombing.