Since most of Salman’s family is in Pakistan.. I dont have to share him much. Just a few occasional visits to his cousins and stuff.
BUT yes there is a big but… he best friend (thye’ve are chaadi buds)
has moved to the USA.
He hates me.. and Im trying to like him. Apparently he thinks I stole his Bestfriend from him.. the fruit cake and resents me because Salman has responsibilities now and cant party like before.
Whenever all three of us are together he talks about the Pre-Maria days and how wonderful they were.. :yuck:
now I love my man to pieces and its fudging hard having to share his time with anyone.. Im just not used to it but this bafoon is really pushing his luck!
What you’re feeling is natural. If you let it get in the way, you’re going to put your husband between a rock and a hard spot. We don’t want that now do we?
What makes you think his friend hates you?
I don’t think you’re trying to like him enough.
Fact is, you’ve to realize he had a life before you and has a life apart from you. Learn to share or face the consequences of making your life miserable (because of jealousy) and pull Salman down with you to. Now what kinda wife would that be? hmm?
Also, if they’re spending too much time taking up time with your couple time. Maybe you two should have a talk.
I do try to like him.. but thats my fatal flaw Im totally nuts about anyone I love, ami or Salman or anyone else. Salman isnt helping here. But the problem isnt that..I've caught Salman in a tiny little white lie because of the boy just to spend time with him. And that hurt.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~: *
I've caught Salman in a tiny little white lie because of the boy just to spend time with him. And that hurt.
[/QUOTE]
There lies your problem perhaps. He's lied because he assumed you won't give him the time to spend with his friend and are possibly possessive.
now why wouldnt I?
As long as there is a limit!
My friends never get in the way of my marriage and vice versa.
the other night (the friend is staying with us BTW) all three of us were hanging out at home.. and Im being a good hostess and fooding them and chai-ing them and all. After I do the dishes and finally sit down he's like arent you tired im like no.. I can keep u cmpany... he keeps saying you look tired and about 12 I finally leave to go to bed
Salman and him stay up until 4 in the morning.. damn kaun si baathein hai that cant be done in front of me?
Thats just damn it!!!!! fuming Im border line asking Salman to get rid of this character and I really didnt want to, but this is really getting to me.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~: *
now why wouldnt I?
As long as there is a limit!
My friends never get in the way of my marriage and vice versa.
the other night (the friend is staying with us BTW) all three of us were hanging out at home.. and Im being a good hostess and fooding them and chai-ing them and all. After I do the dishes and finally sit down he's like arent you tired im like no.. I can keep u cmpany... he keeps saying you look tired and about 12 I finally leave to go to bed
Salman and him stay up until 4 in the morning.. damn kaun si baathein hai that cant be done in front of me?
Thats just damn it!!!!! fuming Im border line asking Salman to get rid of this character and I really didnt want to, but this is really getting to me.
[/QUOTE]
How long has this been going on? How long is the stay? Your friends never get in the way of your marriage becuase you don't see them as a threat where as you see Salman's friend as one and possibly a bad influence too?
Its guy talk Muniya, you should know when to call it a night. The poor guy even gave you a hint. If you were so concerned, you should've just called Salman to bed.
If they are so close and like brothers, they need alone-without-wifey time, it's natural cuz i like alone time with my best friend and my sister too with me and just her. And if you ask the guy to leave, yikes, that would create some problems! Let Salman bhai have his fun. If he is seeing his friend after so long it's natura;l that theyre gonna wanna spend time alone.
How long has this been going on? How long is the stay? Your friends never get in the way of your marriage becuase you don't see them as a threat where as you see Salman's friend as one and possibly a bad influence too?
Its guy talk Muniya, you should know when to call it a night. The poor guy even gave you a hint. If you were so concerned, you should've just called Salman to bed.
[/QUOTE]
guy talk? So the ride home from airport wasnt enough? the secret detour to the coffe shop wasnt either? and how about all of monday and teusday when I was at work and Salman took off for him?
Muniya, find a girlfriend who you can't live without, want to spend your days with and nights chatting to her in person or on the phone. Find a sport you love, a job to fill your every moment........ that may help you to get over your jealousy and fill in the gaps in your time with something creative.
^ hon.. he has his life, he has tons of friends here and they are mostly single so they do thier thing and it never bothers me. Its just this particular one! Sala..&&#(&$#^&#@^*&
This is very normal for Pakistani guys. They think the wives are just their as an 'evil necessity' that the mothers want for their sons. They believe that their friendship existed before you came in the picture. So, it's you who has to adjust and not them.
Salman has to ignore him for a few days and go out with you alone while he watches 'Jag' on Friday nights. I hope your hubby has the balls and the mental level to sort this 'chipkoo' out.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by funguy: *
Find him a girl. Get him married. That would be the end of life for his sorry ass.
[/QUOTE]
This will sort out the problem but...then that is no where in site so
Muniya bibi what seems to be the problem. It is a bit unclear if the problem is that because of this brother like friend, your hubby is not paying enough attention to you or is the problem that your hubby is paying too much attention to him? Well you said that you don’t have a problem with the latter as long as there is a limit. How do you define this limit?
Of course this friend should realize that now Salman is a married man and has responsibilities and obligations but then I think this is something Salman has to point out to his friend and your jumping in to the pan will only make you look inhospitable, to say the least.
But then if this is a short term thing, a few days and if they have met after a long time then don’t you feel they are entitled to a bit of time together?
I want my honey back …
