Nothing that you’ve mentioned seemed really extreme to me. You also put a lot of importance on eating halal so why are you making an issue about your friends not eating chicken due to a doubt of its source? And what’s with calling their husbands “so called husbands”?
As far people not trusting certain Muslims for their meat, they might have some reason behind it. A lot of my friends are also cautious about the sources of their meat.
I’ve never been called a non-muslim by anyone for not doing something. I tend to respect people who practice more strictly than I do.