Extreme Makeover- extremist edition
In the last week of attacks there have been various types of attacks on US mosques.
1- Monday: arson in Missouri,
2-Tuesday: pig legs left at mosque in California,
3-Fri: BB shots at mosque in Illinois,
4-Sat: paintball in Oklahoma,
5- Sun: acid bomb thrown at mosque in Illinois.
6- Lemons thrown at worshippers in CA
Throwing lemons at a mosque in Hayward? Although am I the only one thinking it was not a hate crime or case of domestic terrorism but an act of compassion? Because they knew that the worshippers were fasting and had nothing to eat or drink all day, so the alleged attackers were contributing lemons to make lemonade. I bet they also threw some sugar packets with the lemons too. But where is the ice? Everyone knows you need ice for good lemonade, and don’t forget the splenda, people may be low carbing.
Look, I am not going to ask haters to stop their hate. They live in the greatest country in the world, we have internet everywhere, people can go and learn, but they have chosen not to, so their hate is their business, if they don’t want to change, any amount of dialogue or discussion may not do it. So why try to change them, why not be really creative here and come up with ideas that may help all people.
Lets talk about the pig leg throwers. Pig legs, really? I mean I am a muslim and cant eat this stuff, but my fraternity brother swears by it and notes that wasting good pig legs is un-American. You may dislike muslims but wasting food is not good in any religion and any place. Dont you remember your mom telling you to eat your food because kids in some country did not have food? What would mom think if she found out you wasted food in this manner?
Here is an idea. Just go to the local halal butcher and get some bone-in ribeyes and throw those wrapped in the nice waxed paper, not only will you look classy, but bone-in cut will mean you can possibly dent a door or two and send a message, “I really hate you, but I don’t want to be answerable to god, or mommy for wasting food”
Another point to note. We have a drought, although global warming does not exist (nudge nudge wink wink). Livestocks are decreasing and meat prices will be going up. Throwing pig legs may get too expensive. So if you really want to insult people, forget pig legs, throw that imitation meat stuff. It sends a message, “I dont like you and I will not even waste good meat insulting you” That is sure to get under people’s skins.
We can talk about badasses like Mr. BB Gun, Mr. Paintballer. What ideas do you think they discarded until they got to BB guns and paintballs. Spitballs? Nerfballs? Wiffeballs? But that is a different topic for a different day. It must have been some though process thinking, well I want to scare them but too many stories of people who look like me going on shooting rampages recently, and I dont want to add to the incorrect stereotype because they suck. Now back to trying to send a message to all these bad muslims"
In the end guys, so you like fire, meat, lemons and toy guns, and have some misgivings about muslims at large. Had you just called me, I could have arranged a big picnic, we could have have done a bonfire, made some steak, had some lemonade and played with some dart guns and chatted. Now look fine mess you have gotten yourselves into. Can we just talk next time?