So…as a by-product of the other thread…here it goes..
Is there anything like an extravagant wedding? or its all fine and dandy to spend a lot on it?
Would the society be better off with simple weddings or these?
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
I don't see anything wrong with it, you can't really judge someone who has the cash to splash. Weddings are a one time expense so people prefer to go all out. What's important is that no one is compelled to hold these extravagant weddings and forced to give large dowries beyond their means due to family pressure.
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
^but doesn't repeated behaviour as such force others to conform to this?? When something becomes a cultural norm.....its not very simple.......
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
I think having a nice wedding is everyone's right. I think banishing societal evils like jahaiz is everyone's responsibility.
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
^ why jahaiz is evil and having to spend lots of money on wedding not an evil??
what i was trying to say.....the 'nice' has turned out, overtime, to spending a lot.......same as jahaiz......and reasons for both are similar......societal pressure
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
I think having a nice wedding is everyone's right. I think banishing societal evils like jahaiz is everyone's responsibility.
Prophet Muhammad PBUH, did give dowry to Hazrat Fatima RA. excessive demands regarding the dowry and asking the parents for more than they can afford, which makes them take on many debts in order to get their daughter marry is wrong.
but anything that is done is expressiveness is wrong. ceremonies like mehendi, mayoon dont even exist in Islam but still we celebrate em. excessive demands regarding the dowry and asking the parents for more than they can afford, which makes them take on many debts in order to get their daughter marry is wrong.
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
^ why jahaiz is evil and having to spend lots of money on wedding not an evil??
what i was trying to say.....the 'nice' has turned out, overtime, to spending a lot.......same as jahaiz......and reasons for both are similar......societal pressure
When I got married, I had a nice wedding but one that I could afford easily. One that didnt break our backs or turn us into paupers. So I guess what Im trying to say is if Allah swt has given you the ability, you can do it if you want to. Should you drive your parents to bankruptcy to get married? No. I actually know of families who went through that when they married their daughters and its sad.
Prophet Muhammad PBUH, did give dowry to Hazrat Fatima RA. excessive demands regarding the dowry and asking the parents for more than they can afford, which makes them take on many debts in order to get their daughter marry is wrong.
but anything that is done is expressiveness is wrong. ceremonies like mehendi, mayoon dont even exist in Islam but still we celebrate em. excessive demands regarding the dowry and asking the parents for more than they can afford, which makes them take on many debts in order to get their daughter marry is wrong.
Zobia,
What I refer to Jahaiz, I am speaking of the demands and conditions set by the larkay walay when a marriage takes place. Its a norm to give furniture, AC, cash, etc when a girl gets married nowadays and thats despicable.
The dowry given by the Prophet (saw) was for Hazrat Fatima (ra) specifically. It was not a condition or a requirement in order to marry Her. It was a gift.
Lekin aaj kal larkiyan dont get married if the family says there will be no jahaiz. Thats the evil I am speaking of.
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
Islamically, wasting money is not right and we all know that and we can't really come up with a good excuse as to why we must have a 3 lakh ka lehenga when we can easily get a beautiful dress for under 50,000.
My opinion: The bride and groom shouldn't break their parents' backs to hold an extravagant wedding. If you're paying for it yourself, sure go ahead by all means. Because it isn't for anyone else to care about how much money you're spending. It's your hard-earned money. Spend it like you wish to. I wouldn't mind attending a nice lavish event. :p At the end of the day, everyone has to answer for themselves.
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Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The most blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses.”
I guess we all have different meanings for "simple" weddings. Whats more important than the wedding is the marriage, so may everyone have prosperous happy marriages inshallah.
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Agree with Barbie..
If you can afford it and have paid ur zakat I don't see the problem but if you're taking loans all over the place and begging family members for finance, money is tight or u can't afford to buy a home cos ur spending the next 5yrs paying it all off obviously something is wrong..
Extravagance is such a relative term, I've heard people say £5000 is excessive ('you can get married in the mosque for fifty quid and just wear simple clothes') whilst to most others here in the UK it's nowhere near enough to pay for a whole wedding..
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
Prophet Muhammad PBUH, did give dowry to Hazrat Fatima RA. excessive demands regarding the dowry and asking the parents for more than they can afford, which makes them take on many debts in order to get their daughter marry is wrong.
but anything that is done is expressiveness is wrong. ceremonies like mehendi, mayoon dont even exist in Islam but still we celebrate em. excessive demands regarding the dowry and asking the parents for more than they can afford, which makes them take on many debts in order to get their daughter marry is wrong.
prophet didnt give something as dowery....maybe gift they gave but wats call as jahiz was else...
when hazrat Ali(as) asked for marriage prophet said him wat do u have to give as Mahr & Hazrat shy & said i dont have anything except this that &this(i dont remind thoes things now) but one he named was something he use to wear on war to protect so prophet said him for other things u will need but u sell this....
so he sold & gave to hazrat Fatima(sa) so she sent someone to buy some home stuff & dresses for her with half of that...& half she kept with her...
so she took thoes dresses & home stuff to her married home...
if prophet gave any gift he were doing like all ppl gift according their pocket & their relation to bride & groom
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The most blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses.”
I guess we all have different meanings for "simple" weddings. Whats more important than the wedding is the marriage, so may everyone have prosperous happy marriages inshallah.
i love the quote by the holy prophet and you have a really good point in the rest of what you said about whether the marriage is a great one being the most important issue but like rizla said it shouldn't go too too extreme in terms of how lavish it is but it should be the bride and groom's special day so i think indulging a moderate amount on the one day is ok but only if you can afford to do so, the extremes of going into debt to have a mega-extravagant wedding or not spending much at all and being miserly are both unnecessary
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies…
NomiCA im starting to think you have somthing against people who can afford to spend on their weddings…are you jealous or somthing because a second thread on the same topic is a little weird… 
there is NO WAY you can properly define “LAVISH” someone could be spending €5-6000 on their wedding thinking right this is bare minimum and for some people that could easily be alot of money…just like a family who have €20-30K to spend. I dont know much about the Norm in pakistan but just because i bring my foreign currency and it turns into Carores in pakistan does NOT make me a bad person for spending 2 lakhs on a wedding dress etc…
this topic is unfair and unjust to those who just happen to have money, who probably pay their zakat (at the end of the day each person will be questioned) and who just happen to come from a good family…
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies.....
this topic is unfair and unjust to those who just happen to have money, who probably pay their zakat (at the end of the day each person will be questioned) and who just happen to come from a good family.....
agreed! the assumption that spending money on a wedding/the people who spend money on their weddings = irresponsible, unnecessary, excessive, bad, etc. is ridiculous and very judge-y.
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^I think there may be some misunderstanding here. I don't think NomiCA is necessarily has anything against "people who can afford to spend on their weddings." And how do you guys know that NomiCA isn't loaded?
The fact remains that the hadith on this topic encourages us to stay level-headed during wedding planning. Terms like "lavish" or "frugal" are relative. Someone from a lower-income home may get caught up in wedding fever, and spend beyond their means, but they may still spend less than a wealthy family who cuts back on wedding expenses. However, the intentions of the wealthy family would probably be more respectable.
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies…
hmm…let me decode it..(correct me if i am wrong)..you think because i opened two threads on this topic…that somehow i am very poor and could not have a fancy wedding and i am here criticizing ‘spending’ because i am insecure, jealous and resentful of the ‘rich’ people who have such weddings…
I appreciate your responses which stem from your inability to discuss the topic without making personal remarks about the poster who presents a different viewpoint than yours… and honestly it does not surprise me at all 
P.S…Good luck with your ‘Crores’ and ‘2 Lakh dresses’…i hope it keeps you motivated
But how does discussing an issue which effects society equate to judging/having problem who happen to have a lot of money??
Do you think i care how much some people spend…whether they shoot themselves on their foot…or do anything for that matter?
No i don’t give a damn about it…and in case anyone thinks that…i refer to my original post (which was probably blurred out and not visible to some people due to some issues they themselves have)..
and i do admit…it was a mistake i did by posting it in weddings forum…which hurt some fragile personalities.
Thank god some people do have a clear mind. 
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies…
^ Nomica how is SGC’s post judgemental? :khums:
Secondly you say:
Then you go on and do what you don’t like others doing i.e. making personal remarks (as per your above post)
Aren’t you doing the same here, no offence?
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies…
I don’t think i said anywhere that SGC’s post is judgemental…secondly even if i did say that how could i ever prove to you that it was judgemental or not??
and do i have to prove it to you?? :khums:
What I wrote is a fact evident from the post…that the poster chose to comment on me** before** discussing the topic…( now i leave it to the readers to decide whether the comment was directed at me or not) had there been only a discussion of topic at hand i wouldn’t have to say that at all…others disagreed with me too…but nobody made personal comments and neither did i respond…
and when someone addresses me and my personality i have to respond (which i believe to be my right)
just for clarity…do you think that the comment about me being jealous was not a personal remark??
P.S. you chose to make a post on my response but did not make a single comment on the topic under discussion…what caused you to do that?? :khums: 
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Actually you quoted her post then replied with:
The bold parts: as you quoted her post and it was natural to assume you were addressing her. Hence the bold parts are saying you were accusing her of being judgemental. Do not worry you don’t have to prove anything to me as I don’t really care
Second, as far as the topic goes people earn money to spend. They do not earn money to store it in their piggybanks. If someone has money and spends his/her own money lavishly he/she has the right to do so and good for them.
Re: Extravagant/Lavish/Nice wedding ceremonies…
you do care…the above explanation shows that…
btw…you didn’t reply to these