I firmly believe that life is too short to let outside influences distrupt a happy home. We all live in this world, we all know that things happen… job issues, friendshp problems, and of course in law issues… All this stress can definitely take a toll on the couple…b/c if someone is constantly on edge or angry b/c of a situation with their in laws/family or their job or whatever, they tend to snap at their spouse or take it out on them. It’s not fair but its a part of marriage.. Too often, those negative feelings can impact the relationship as well…
Are you conscious to not let outside things disrupt your relationship? If it does happen… how do you and your spouse deal with it?
the thing is are girls supposed to distance themselves away from their parents after marriage? it doesn't seem fair because what if her parents are awesome and it's always been family gatherings and fun during festivals but the spouse could care less about this sort of stuff and never really tries to get close to her family
is the family that she marries into more important?
Huhhh?
She's attempting to answer the question...whilst also referring to her previous thread.
the thing is are girls supposed to distance themselves away from their parents after marriage? it doesn't seem fair because what if her parents are awesome and it's always been family gatherings and fun during festivals but the spouse could care less about this sort of stuff and never really tries to get close to her family
is the family that she marries into more important?
No she is not supposed to forget her own family. Whoever tells you that is an idiot.
Bt yeah, at least in the first few months or years...you try to make more of an effort with your in laws than you do with your own family....hota hai..but after some time it all balances out
the thing is are girls supposed to distance themselves away from their parents after marriage? it doesn't seem fair because what if her parents are awesome and it's always been family gatherings and fun during festivals but the spouse could care less about this sort of stuff and never really tries to get close to her family
is the family that she marries into more important?
Some "distance" naturally sets in.....because you're now living with a spouse. Even more so if you move further away from family....or you were living under the same roof as your family....and now will be living away from them for the first time.
But to "deliberately" create that distance...or to think it's "supposed" to be like that.......no. Yeah, you balance your relationships...and need to pick and choose your battles (not every argument with your spouse...needs to be shared with mommy and daddy).
But with your case.....I think it's better if you drop the guy. He already doesn't respect you during your engagement.....he's showing his true colors....what miracle are you hoping for that would change him after marriage? You're fortunate that you're finding out about his issues RIGHT NOW......think about those girls who find out after marriage and are more trapped. He holds grudges to the point that he tries to control you...by cutting you off from people who are important to you. You still have an easier exit out of this mess. An engagement/marriage should be a happy time..with fond memories to look back on. Why are you deliberately robbing yourself of this? You're a smart woman...get out of this.
Why are you even questioning if your own family is more or less important than his? That's a question one doesn't even need to ask someone.
Re: External influences
I prefer my parents family and my in laws do not get involved