Re: Expressing Gratitude
No need to apologize. I did misunderstand and it was my fault. I think I read a simlar thread elsewhere and maybe got confused or perhaps I read too fast, but thanks for clarifying.
I haven’t really seen that among non-Desi folks. I have seen that they’ll bring a gift as a thank you for the invite but it’s not necessarily followed up with a thank you for the invitation.
Maybe for some folks, the gift they brought is sufficient gratitude. My parents love doing dawats and they go all out and are known for doing a delicious hearty spread, MashaAllah. While my mom hasn’t received thank you cards from Aunties…she really does appreciate those who compliment her on the food and effort. Even with my sister’s wedding…my parents still appreciate those that came up to them an complimented the wedding. What I’m trying to say is that if it’s something you were taught to do by your parents and that you enjoy doing…then you should do it. I feel that the host would appreciate it and feel more motivated to hold more events and it strengthens rapport b/w people. So do it with these benefits in mind and possibly also the benefit of ajar from Allah…and try not to expect the same from others as people show gratitude differently.
Another way to look at it is that sometimes Desi folks can get picky about laina-daina…traditions…hospitality…so if we have some dheel or laxity in terms of not having to follow-up with an additional thank you…then that’s kinda nice too. We already have too many formalities in other ways…like number of suits for a bari…who should be gifted among in-laws etc etc…that it can bog one down and reduce the fun of special occasions.
So basically there is good in sending a thank you card and there is even good in not having to do so. The former is more enjoyable if done without expectation. The minute we start expecting others do the same as us…it reduces the joy in doing that deed.