Expressing Gratitude

[Muzna]

Re: Expressing Gratitude

@redvelvet

Hmmm…I guess it doesn’t bother me. Let’s say I go to some aunti’s home with a gift. The host may not have even expected gifts…I know my parents don’t. She thanks me for the gift. The fact that she invited me to her home…maybe spent hours to clean it…spent money on the ingredients to make the meal…invested time in cooking the meal…runs about the kitchen like a headless chicken to arrange for the serving…and then will have to spend time cleaning up the place when it’s all over…is more than enough. And many times the host puts more effort into hosting the dawat than the guest puts into getting her a gift…cuz sometimes the gift given was lying around the home and was simply re-gifted. The gift that I and other guests get the was the gratitude that we showed the host for her efforts. She did a favor to us…we returned it with a favor. So hisaab baraabar…to some extent. That’s one way of looking at it…and if you look at it this way…then maybe the failure to write a thank you card can be shrugged off.

Now for things like weddings…I know that we write thank you cards and I’ve seen other desis do so as well.

Sorry…let me clarify. I think you misunderstood.
I did not mean for the hostess to write me a thank you note for the gift that I brought. Of course that is not necessary. In that example I was pointing out how I would follow up the next day with a thank you for the invitation.

The expectation of a thank you is mainly directed to occasions where I am shelling out hundreds of dollars as a birthday, bismillah, engagement or wedding gift.