Expressing Gratitude

[Muzna]

Re: Expressing Gratitude

@muqawwee123

In Pakistani culture, there are different rules for different people. Sometimes people take everything done for them as their born right like (things done by parents, spouse) and sometimes little things done by someone made us thankful and say ‘shukriya, nawazish, mehrbani, etc’. These all words show that there has been a tradition of being thankful and express that in words.

As you mentioned Chinese culture of rejecting gift before acceptance, isn’t that also present in Pakistani culture. Like when you give envelope to a friend / colleague on his valima, you come across with lines ‘yaar rehne do, aap aa gae mere liye ye boht hai’

You’ve touched upon the thing that I want to understand.
There are different rules it seems.

I’ve recently had an experience where gifts, mainly of cash, were given to a couple where the husband is a recent arrival in Canada. Typically the couple was invited over for dinner and as they were leaving they were handed a card/envelope containing the gift. The couple did the standard, “Thank you. We had a lovely evening” formalities and left. They did nothing to follow up after the dinner or to thank the hosts for the monetary gift that they were given. This happened not only to me but to other family members as well.

Within a few months an occasion arose where I gave another such monetary gift. Again…same thing…no acknowledgement and no thank you.

What gives?

I get it that you don’t have to thank your parents or your spouse (though I don’t agree with that either cuz that’s not how I was raised) but anyone other than that deserves a thank you, no?

And for those that may say the culture in Pakistan is different, I have other cousins that were born and brought up there and they do not behave this way…so I’m left a bit perplexed.