Re: Exploitation of men, in Islam
one other is that if it’s obligatory on husbands to “support them from their means” (Qur’an 4:34) then it’s only right that wives have a like obligation which they should fulfil towards the household… doing the household chores perhaps
The latter clause is speculation that you made based on a Quranic text. If Allah wanted women to only do housework, then he would have said so. Also the ayah which asks women to stay in their homes is not directed towards the meaning that women should only do household chores. It just means that its better for a woman to stay at home when its not necessary that she wander around outside - most likely the reasons for this have to do with the way women of that time behaved culturally. It seems Makkah and Medina’s high class had some interesting behavioral patterns, which involved going out just for the sake of flirting, showing off, etc.
Code Red:
Islamically
1. Wife can demand separate lodging, it is their right. Husband has to oblige
2. they can demand help in household chore, either husband should provide servent or do it himself.
3. Men are supposed to shower wives with gifts, and when it is a time for payback women run out of options, becuase humble and simple creatures known as men, have very limited needs.
Pakistanis DO NOT have a good track record of following these things.
Please check out my new thread in Shor Sharaaba regarding the show - “Make Over”. What I saw there was somewhat sick. And its a very accurate description of how Pakistani husbands behave.
Men happily earn living for their family and parents and younger siblings. They never complain.
Gross lie. They complain every damn day - they bicker to all the ladies in their family, and when they’re really frustrated they yell at their wives - I’ve seen it in real life, and Life2 is full of those stories. 
Many girls just complete their degrees, to enhance their chance of catching good ‘rishtas’ so their hubby will provide them with all the luxuries of life and they will watch soap operas do gossips all their life
:k: Very good point - I’ve been noting it myself among girls. But most cases I have seen, its actually the guy and his family that insist the girl not work. If they didn’t insist this, then chances are she would work. So girls are getting degrees and then pressured by society to give up work when they have kids. There is nothing wrong with that, necessarily, since babies need attention and they’re a 24 hour job in itself. I plan to stay at home for a few years and raise the kids - but then I’d like to go back once they’re older.
Case in point - the last guy I was talking to about the possibility of marriage - he insisted that if he would marry me, then I would have to leave work for a number of years, and that he was still not comfy about me going back to work once the kids entered school. That they still need attention. 
Needless to say, I’m happy he’s out of the picture now.
Regarding polygamy, you say :
Yet it is the most favorite topic of discussion among muslim ladies nowadays.
The cases of guys doing this seem to be a lot more than it seems, given that a lot of these polygamous marriages are hidden, and sometimes the wives don’t know until after the marriages have been done…after which point they decide to suck it up and live with it secretly…since its hard for a girl to find another rishtaa after a divorce. I’m surprised at how many people do it in the States - they just do it in secret and its not registered with the government. I met a guy whose father has one wife in the States and another in Pakistan. But the wife in the US is in the government records as being a divorcee…but they’re still married, since he still visits her every so often.
Its not polygamy that I personally am so against - its when its done without the permission of the wives and when its done chori chori chupke chupke in countries where its not permitted…you have to follow the law of the land, and that’s how Islam works.
In Pakistan (as many people are familiar with this country) Cases of rape of Young boys seriously out number the cases of rape of girls by a large margin. Yet no one is bothered to acknowledge the fact, let alone doing something about it.
Good point. Its something that people don’t like to talk about admittedly. Pachaas minute did a good show on run-away boys, and the boys were sitting on the show admitting that police molest them and that other boys in these gangs molest them. It was quite sick.
Sadly they never are grateful.
Because Pakistani women do not experience the liberties that Islam talks of, for the most part. I can say that my dad does a pretty good job of upholding the qualities that you listed. However, in our own desi community here, I have yet to find a guy like him, objectively speaking. Most emotionally abuse their wives, and if they don’t do that, they neglect them, and if they don’t do that, then its quite worse what they really do to their women. Its very sad.