So i have heard repeatedly that all a playa has to do is to find out a girl’s insecurity, and then make her feel good by specifically praising her sweet talking about that particular aspect of hers.Like if she is fat, he would say she is not fat , or other stuff like that.
So, have you people observed that happening?
Re: Exploitation of insecurities
NomiCA have I ever mentioned to you that you sound like a ladies man? You must have tons of women swarming around you? How do you fend off their constant attention?
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I think it probably works really well if you're just another playa.
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Some people, specially women, perpetuate an inaccurate picture of ‘players’, like they are sociopaths with some incredible manipulative powers they use, to exploit women.
The real players dont have to do any of that. They are desirable for their looks, popularity, power/money. Women are effortlessly attracted to them. They have a lot of dating and sexual options and, understandably, are in no mood to settle down. They have their flings and sexual relationships on their terms and in the process a lot of women end up feeling disenfranchised, rejected, hurt etc, when things dont go according to their expectations. Women rationalize these feelings by saying they were ‘played with’, were manipulated, exploited, ‘used for sex’ etc…it makes them feel good about themselves and gets them a lot of sympathy.
Contrary to popular belief, most players rarely have to lie about their intentions aor make false promises to obtain sex from women.
I’m not saying the kind of players who rely SOLELY on their manipulative and exploitative nature dont exist, but they can only ‘play’ 1 or 2 women of a certain type. I would’nt think of them as ‘players’. Faking a whole relationship is not being a player, anyone can do that if they put in the time and effort. In any case doing that to one woman doesnt make you a player.
If you visit dating, sex-related or women’s forums, you’ll see plenty of plain-jane/chubby/nerdy girls discussing their grievances that they were played by a guy who exploited her insecurities by making her feel desirable…but what guy? the handsome, charming popular guy in the workplace, college, hostel, proximity etc. Not a chubby, nerdy, regular joe just like her !
here’s an example…
*(I Dated A Charming, Popular Sexual Predator - Role Reboot)
The point being that manipulation and exploitation mostly only works when the man is naturally desirable (hot, popular etc) to begin with…and that man can easily do the playing without that.*
Exploitation of insecurities
Not really to be honest lol... Girl goes for the guys looks or popular personality and later realises his a nasty piece of work and by the end of it she thinks.. DAMN wot a player was he! Lol witnessed itt
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Taking your cues from Barney Stinson?
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Don’t hate the playa, hate the game 
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^ you pride yourself to be an owner of a corner kitchen. But your chai isn't even hot.
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Nomi, you are so intelligent
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hmm nomi, you may be right about that. But as someone said above, it only works on a certain type of woman. A girl who is otherwise average-looking/above-average and knows she can do better, would not necessarily be swayed by such tactics (even if she has insecurities).
I once met this guy in university. He was average, street smart, and very weird. This one time, a group of us were sharing childhood stories and I told them that I grew up under the shadow of my older sister who is very pretty and bubbly mashallah. I am quieter in comparison to her and not pretty in a traditional way but have a different kind of kashish. So growing up I felt she used to be taken hand to hand wherever we would go and I was always sort of put in a corner.
This guy took that to mean that I don't consider myself very pretty or desirable and he played on that for a few days. He would praise my best friend in my pictures with her. Or he would tell me how come you don't laugh out loud like other bubbly girls, look at them they are so full of life, etc.
After a few days, he told me what he was doing. And that he and his guy friends used to do this back in India...where it worked like a charm in almost all cases.
Re: Exploitation of insecurities
hmm nomi, you may be right about that. But as someone said above, it only works on a certain type of woman. A girl who is otherwise average-looking/above-average and knows she can do better, would not necessarily be swayed by such tactics (even if she has insecurities).
I once met this guy in university. He was average, street smart, and very weird. This one time, a group of us were sharing childhood stories and I told them that I grew up under the shadow of my older sister who is very pretty and bubbly mashallah. I am quieter in comparison to her and not pretty in a traditional way but have a different kind of kashish. So growing up I felt she used to be taken hand to hand wherever we would go and I was always sort of put in a corner.
This guy took that to mean that I don't consider myself very pretty or desirable and he played on that for a few days. He would praise my best friend in my pictures with her. Or he would tell me how come you don't laugh out loud like other bubbly girls, look at them they are so full of life, etc.
After a few days, he told me what he was doing. And that he and his guy friends used to do this back in India...where it worked like a charm in almost all cases.
Wait so his technique was to prey on your perceived insecurities, by making fun of your not feeling pretty as your sister? and this worked?
I thought the technique was to go the opposite...like praise your "insecurities"?
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Wait so his technique was to prey on your perceived insecurities, by making fun of your not feeling pretty as your sister? and this worked? I thought the technique was to go the opposite...like praise your "insecurities"?
It didn't work.
He was weird. He made fun of me so that I would wonder to myself why he doesn't like me and in turn I would try to get his attention (so the chase would be me going after him and that would boast his ego) but it didn't work because I don't have that insecurity and I am not stupid.
It wouldn't have worked even if he had been complimenting me all along, which is what he started doing when he came clean.
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Ahhhh…yeah some guys do that…such a shame…woirse is when women actually fall for it. :no:
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this happens in cafe all the time. LKK is the masta playa. 
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And you would know this how? 
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Taking your cues from Barney Stinson?
oh..yeah i remember he said that too.. but this is first hand discussion. it really exists, specifically moti girls get duped a lot.
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The chai in post 7 did not have steam coming out of it. Now it does.
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The chai in post 7 did not have steam coming out of it. Now it does.
LOL cute!
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buit arent all desi girls skinny?
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yeah they are skinny only that some have multiple skins