Yesterday’s events have left me thinking and I don’t really know how to handle this issue. I was talking to an arab girlfriend of mine and she is having the same dilemma with her kids.
An announcement came out to all the parents yesterday via cell phone about the attack on the school in Pakistan. I guess cause we live in a heavily desi populated area they wanted to show their concern and reassure parents that our kids are safe.
I’m not really worried right now because so many of us in this area are Muslim … but eventually I will move to area where not every other face is a brown one.
How do you explain what happened to your kids? I just sat Adil down and told him exactly what happened. I don’t know if I did the right thing or not. I had to explain that there are some bad people who do things in the name of Islam but this is not Islam.
He was confused … very confused… and did not understand why anybody would want to kill kids or set a teacher on fire.
Second issue is this. There is so much hate towards Muslims right now in the world and as easy as it is to say make your kids strong and confident Muslims, they are going to face a lot of backlash in some way or another. How are we supposed to protect them or prepare them for this? Especially when they are only 5/6 years old.
I’m asking here because I’m sure there are other parents who are thinking the same thing as me.
It's in quotes. Obviously I know there is nothing Islamic about it, but the media reports it like this and it brainwashes the mass sheep out there. We have to find a way to explain this to our little kids. Older ones get it, but the younger ones don't.
I think "Islamic terrorism" is a complicated topic for a 5/6 year old to fully grasp. I would completely avoid it at this stage. I'd focus on my kid to make him understand the value and sanctity of human life and anyone who tries to destroy it should be condemned, and never be scared of speaking the truth.
^That's what I thought. While reading OP's post ...when I got to the part where she said her son was confused...I thought to myself, "Wait, did he even ask about the incident? Or even say something about it.?" And yes, I know that you can't use the rationale that I'll wait until my adolescent talks about alcohol and drugs before addressing the matter....but I think the age of the child plays a role too. If a child as young as that has never said anything about the attacks then broaching the subject on your own might instill fear alongside confusion. I have taught that age group before and I'd feel very hesitant to initiate a discussion of the matter if I see no signs of awareness in the kids of such a tragedy.
^ he did ask about it because they made an announcement about it at his school. The alert that came to the parents also came at the same time. Perhaps the school should not have said anything, but I think they did because the Pakistani community is very big at his school.
I would have serious issues with any school that brings up "Islamic Terrorism" to 5/6 year old children who really don't have the capacity to understand politics and terrorism.
If the question had arisen with my child or nieces and nephews, I would have reduced it to nothing more than "bad people doing bad things and using lies to protect their actions".
When it becomes a subject that is addressed in a playground setting then I agree with a comprehensive conversation with explanations......but at the age of 5/6.....no....not in such detail.
^ he did ask about it because they made an announcement about it at his school. The alert that came to the parents also came at the same time. Perhaps the school should not have said anything, but I think they did because the Pakistani community is very big at his school.
Woah. When you say announcement....do you mean a paper announcement? Or a speaker-system announcement that was heard by all the students...including the youngest of the lot? If it was the latter, what exactly was said during the announcement?
Paper announcement and PA announcement as well as text message alerts to all the parents. I don't know what exactly was said in the PA announcement but I'm sure they didn't say Islamic Terrorism.
Just to clarify - Nobody used the words "Islamic Terrorism". I only did so in this thread when asking you all for advice on how to tackle these issues that I'm actually quite worried about.
We received a letter from the school expressing condolences and solidarity with the people of Pakistan. Those parents that opted to receive notifications via electronic media also received text messages and emails. These were simple messages of condolence and support at a time of great tragedy. There was no mention of terrorism or Islam.
[quote]
We were all shocked and saddened by the tragic events that transpired at Army Public School in Peshawar, Pakistan today.
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Hmm, OP.....with such "tricky" questions I think it's good to ask a child what they "already" know, or heard, or if they noticed anything different happen in school today. This gives the child the opportunity to speak and you when you get an idea of how much they know......it lets you know how much you should explain cuz you don't wanna do any "over-explaining" that'll confuse them.
Another thing you can do is to use a reference point as a baseline. Teachers are told to do this when introducing new concepts in a lesson. They connect the new topic to relevant information or experiences that the kids already have so that it becomes more understandable. To a 5-year-old, the term "bad guys" is easier to understand than "terrorists." "Wrong" is easier to understand than "evil." So, maybe you can use "bad guys" or a "wrong act" from one of his games or books or cartoons/movies as a starting point from which to explain the Peshawar strategy. Emphasize on what actions are wrong. Ask him questions thruout as in "how do you feel or what are you thinking?" And that'll let you know what you need to address next. Maybe he might ask if schools are dangerous...and you'll have to address that. Maybe he'll ask who the bad guys were and you'll have to address that.
I figured everything out by history lessons when I was younger (my parents had to explain mummies to me when I was 4 from an Islamic pov). People from every religion, every nation were good, bad or a mix of both. Good people helped others while bad people hurt others just to see them cry. Since I had an interest in history my parents supplemented with stories about people who did good and who did bad. A lot of the whys were inside their stories so it helped. It was a gradual process of course.
We received a letter from the school expressing condolences and solidarity with the people of Pakistan. Those parents that opted to receive notifications via electronic media also received text messages and emails. These were simple messages of condolence and support at a time of great tragedy. There was no mention of terrorism or Islam.
Like I said above, I AM THE ONE who used "Islamic terrorism" in the title of the thread. The school did not use it. For your reference, I did not use these words to Adil.
Sahar, change the title to whatever you want.
Everybody else, the kids were play acting out the shooting and massacre at recess. After finding out more details of what happened, I have no regrets letting my child know what happened and how wrong it was.
I hate these shooting/massacre games. I am glad you told your son how it can destroy people/families in real life. Without making it about Taliban, you can casually share how innocent people have lost their lives due to inappropriate use of guns...sandy hills elemtary school shooting in Connecticut, etc.
I don't think at this age he needs explicit details but something general that will help him get the message.
Also, Brainstorm other games he can play or create with friends that are not around guns and violence.
I think "Islamic terrorism" is a complicated topic for a 5/6 year old to fully grasp. I would completely avoid it at this stage. I'd focus on my kid to make him understand the value and sanctity of human life and anyone who tries to destroy it should be condemned, and never be scared of speaking the truth.
True. I have kept my 7yo son away from it for the same reason. It will only complicate his thoughts instead of working in the right direction.
Like I said above, I AM THE ONE who used "Islamic terrorism" in the title of the thread. The school did not use it. For your reference, I did not use these words to Adil.
Sahar, change the title to whatever you want.
Everybody else, the kids were play acting out the shooting and massacre at recess. After finding out more details of what happened, I have no regrets letting my child know what happened and how wrong it was.
I wanted help which is why I came here.
Thanks y'all!
Mehnaz, I totally didn't expect that you would have used these words to Adil nor did I suggest that you did. I know you're a way better mom than that.
When you mentioned that you got announcements and texts, it prompted me to go back and re-read the stuff I got to make sure that the school and school board weren't foolish enough to send out such phrases in their messages and that's why I posted it here.
It is sickening that the kids were playing such games in the school yard and that's good enough reason to have the conversation.
If the question had arisen with my child or nieces and nephews, I would have reduced it to nothing more than "bad people doing bad things and using lies to protect their actions".
.
Mehnaz, if you don't mind me asking, why do you want to move to another area with less Pakistanis? I am moving to another state too but would like to find a place with lots of Pakistanis in it.
Not on the day this sad incident occurred but later on my 5 year old did ask about what has happened. She was upset seeing all the images on TV and seeing us all sad.
She just asked that "kisi ko marna buri baat hoti haina? " I told her "yes" then she said "then the people who have hurt these kids read Astaghfar ?" I had no answer to that so I just told her to pray dua for everyone who has got hurt and ask Allah main to take care of them and their mama and baba.
plz change the title.