Okay so recently I have been seeing that no matter how educated the family is, or how literate they are…they look for girls who would sit down n cook food for their families n take care of almost everything, they prefer girls who re not so career oriented etc etc…
MY questions is, how would you girls handle your in-laws after marriage? & Boys how would you help ur wife and mother balance things out? I am mostly talkin about couples livin wit parents. My basic focus here is to get tips on how to work out relationship between inlaws after marriage & how to get easily adjusted.
I dont have any experience but from what i have observed the guy has to play the main role here by balancing both sides.
The girl needs to understand that she is married now, there is a huge difference between a single women and a married one so be ready for the changes and adjustments that come with it. If you are not willing to do so then sit back home and enjoy with your family, marriage is not a must. When you marry into a family, you have to understand that the whole family cant change for you so its you who wl have to do more work in order to adjust. Thats why its always a better idea to not only look at the guy but his family too while accepting the proposal. And just be yourself, don't try to be someone you are not and end up giving an impression which later you may not be able to live up to. You dont have to call your inlaws ami/abu or mom/dad but you have to respect them same way. Unfortunately most women are not ready to do the latter.
I'm so glad I'm not a child of the 50's if my husband bought me cleaning equipment for my birthday or eid he would be on his way to A&E to have it removed from his colon.
I'm so glad I'm not a child of the 50's if my husband bought me cleaning equipment for my birthday or eid he would be on his way to A&E to have it removed from his colon.
Hahaha I don't blame you, some of these advertisements are shockers!
don't have any experience yet..but to put my 2 cent...as a girl after marriage the biggest challenge for me will be tackling the issues of household along with my career. so as i know i m going to be a part of a joint family system. and i also know that they will be having so many expectations from me. but no one is perfect and can never act 100% in accordance to other desires.
the thing i think i can do is to be tolerant, obedient and communicative..all these things don't mean total submission to them but handling things wisely and patiently instead of emotionally can make it easy to live a happy life.
i think the newly wedded girl can tackle such situation by keeping her husband out of all these issues. if i will be complaining him every other day about his mother or other family members it will become a routine for him and gradually he will become impersonal towards my problems.. "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" wasn't able to get the attention of other when he really needed it.
Okay so recently I have been seeing that no matter how educated the family is, or how literate they are...
Thanks =)
Your 'sight' is rather limited. That is all I can say. Again, I'd like to repeat that what 'you' see is not necessarily the correct/true portrayal of what's really out there.
I am actually posting on GS after ages. Aah..why so long..oh well..I was busy trying to be the ‘obedient, nice’ bahu :halo: so whatever I say is a right-on first hand experience.
7 months of marriage…with my mbbs final year exams 2 months after shaadi. Andddd living with my in-laws…BUT the twist is yet to be told ..yes my husband had to fly back to ‘pardes’ 3 weeks after shaadi. So I had to adjust to a completely new place withOUT my husband. (Ahh I feel sorry for myself :p)
Anyway, jokes apart
I’ve actually been Alhamdullilah blessed to have such friendly in-laws. Not having any ‘nand’ is obviously an advantage. Having a MIL who also is a practising physician makes things easier. But the best part was understanding and love for me that came from them.
But…it’s still not been easy. Despite how super sweet honey coated susraal you do get, you have to ADAPT..survival of the fittest …yes apply Darwin’s theory in this too.
Loyalty and respect is what you should give them. Agree to what they say. DO not throw temper tantrums..and yes keep smiling. Nobody likes sullen faces. It is hard initially to be all happy chirpy 24/7 but eventually everybody starts respecting you and giving you the place you rightly deserve
Normally the in-laws are not the lethal Terminator-type kinds - but that’s their home ..things go the way they have planned ..you are the new entry .. just give it some time ..listen to what they say ..and dont wear emotions on your sleeves and within a few months you would adjust and start having things your way too
Nomica I see you joined right after I went on my ill-deserved break ;) Quite late - I know but here's a 'welcome aboard' from my side :D *while I wait for my 'welcome back' :p
If there is an argument in the household, be sure to win it.
After winning the argument, make sure your in-laws KNOW and APPRECIATE that they've lost.
Remind them kindly not to butt into your business when they make the error of doing so.
If they further make you angry, make a audio tape of your lovemaking with their son, then play it breakfast the following morning, and remind them that their son will never get this satisfaction anywhere else, including from his darling mother.
“vitamins, darling! I always get my vitamins!”
