I have a question for you parents/parents to be…do you expect your parents to ever babysit/take care of your kids, or are they strictly for playing with and spoiling with gifts and such?
And what exactly is the expectations from grandparents..culturally/socially etc?
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
My mom loves to spoil her grand children but she is a very strict disciplinarian as well.. my sister leaves her kids with ammi all the time to go out with her husband, to run errands, and what not.. and my mom loves it.. I dun think she will have it any other way.. it makes her feel very important and kids keep her busy too.
When I will have kids, I will prefer to have my mom stay with me especially in the beginning.. in fact she is looking forward to that day!
I dunno about cultural expectations but I do know that since my sister was the first grandchild in the family, grandparents loved having her around so while my mom worked, my nani n khalas took care of my sister.. b y the time I came into this world, khalas were married, nani wasnt as active as before so I didn't spend as much time with her as my sister did.. i guess it all varies from family to family :-)
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
^ thats cool. I know there's some grandparents who will never take care of the kids, just play with them and thats it..
I know in a few threads that ask to list the benefits of living in a joint family, some girls say the only benefit si to have free babysitting...which si kinda weird...thus I ask this.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
I think granparents should babysit, not just for free babysitting to but to play, spendtime with and bond with grandkids. It is a pitty for grandparents who do not understand that.
If the grand parents are not available then next best option is to have a trusted babysitter.
We hardly leave our son anywhere, when I was working we had this amzing woman through an agency who looked after my son.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
I do not ever assume they can watch her -- they have their own responsibilities and schedules. But I often ask and they often volunteer. It's great!
I have no qualms about leaving her with nani or dadi. She is very attached to her nana, but he hasn't changed diapers, so he's only been alone with her once. i don't think her dada would be comfortable handling her alone.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
I think I have alot of ppl I could trust my kid(s) to babysit....definitely my parents and my aunt and uncle... my brother, my friends who have kids, my husband's bhabis....the only challenge is getting the rest to agree. :p
Wait..is that being too trusting?
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
^ No. But there have been phases where Bunny just screamed and screamed and screamed until we came home. It didn't matter that she was with her grandparents, who she sees regularly. Sometimes they are very particular. Sometimes they get over it.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
I think it is **wrong **when parents expect grandparents to be set for service (eg. babysitting) anytime the parents want it. Grandparents are not obligated to take care of our children, so always make sure you're on the same page, so they dont feel you're just taking "advantage" of them :)
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
Unfortunately I know some people like that.....as a once in a while thing I don't mind it, but if I was ever in a situation, like working or something, I'd rather go with a babysitter/daycare.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
^Totally agree. I think the parents who think everyone in the world just wanna babysit their kids are sooo mistaken lol ..
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
^Totally agree. I think the parents who think everyone in the world just wanna babysit their kids are sooo mistaken lol ..
lol...its just not right to assume or take anybody for granted, thats all...
also, the only time i think its okay to leave kids with grandparents for long periods is if they're older...b/c by then its not as much "taking care of" as it is just bonding with them and making good memories.. lol.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
This is poem by such a grandparent…those who understand punjabi will enjoy it..
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
^
My GOD thats hilarious yet very sad!!
I loved the bit … budhiyaan ne khushbowan laiyaan..main bhi koi haan di waikhaan… 
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
Depends on the grandparents, their age, willingness and capability to take care of grand kids etc.
My mom loves to babysit. She likes to be a part of their life but I don't expect her to give up her life to take care of my kids. The same thing with my MIL but given her age and her health doesn't allow her to do that as much.
Re: Expectations from Grandparents
I have had my mom babysit for me a a few times, the most recent being for about two weeks where i was doing research for my thesis and was out all day. My mom spent the whole day with my daughter and i know she got really tired by the end of the day (she has arthritis and my daughter was taking her up and down the stairs all day and expecting my mom carry her). My inlaws love spending time with her as well and take care of her if i am in school or if my husband and i go out. BUT i would not like to make it an everyday thing. I dont think its fair to them. And i think grandparents too can get tired of taking care of the kids every now and then. I would rather not put them in such a situation.