The people who grew up abroad don't live in some lab or desert that they don't have access to a social and cultural life where they are. They have experiences, memories, and good and tough times. Yeah they may never have experienced childhood or growing up in Pakistan, but the people in Pakistan will never experience what the kids who grew abroad did.
You may have kulfi Wala thela memories, I may have memories if running after the ice cream can, you may remember swimming in the canals with pals and someone may remember trying bmx biking at a park, attempting sand skiing at the dunes, sledding at the first big snow in the local park.
Your experiences are not superior to mine, or vice versa. We can debate richness, uniqueness, fun factor till the cows come home but its diff people, diff life. I really don't think either 'missed out' as Reha also pointed out.
I can go on about the sheer variety of experiences available to kids growing up overseas and show pity for recent arrivals that they will never be able to associate with John Hughes 80s movies, or Disney, or Halloween in US, or guy Fawkes day, fun fairs and day trips to Margate or Alton Towers with friends, or scrounging to get tickets for that major pop band during highschool.
It's amusing really, this notion that we missed out. We can't relate the same way..but it's a two way street.
Is that what you wish was true? If you were in London this summer for the Olympics you’d have seen just how wrong you are.. Our ‘face’ of Team GB was a mixed-race girl called Jessica Ennis and one (if not the) most popular star of the games was Mo Farah, a Somali born refugee..
The countries that we live in didn't develop themselves in 65 years in the midst of wars. It took them a LONG time to get to the stage that they're at right now. Some of the social issues facing Pakistan right now were prevalent in our countries as recently as the 1980's. Ehsan uncle has spoken about the kind of racism he had to deal with in the UK, people didn't want to be audited by "a brown guy", despite the UK being considered a developed country back then. And please don't get me started on how many colonies had to suffer just so the British empire could flourish.
I've grown up in a former colony and so I feel more strongly about the ugly colonial history than others. This country's history actually reminds me of Indian/Pakistani history. Anyone heard of the Great Famine? It was "a period of mass starvation, disease and emigration" under the British rule and that is what heightened Irish nationalism, eventually leading to the country's independence. Sounds similar to the nightmare that Indians and Pakistanis went through before, during and after independence. The issues facing Pakistan right now e.g. inequality, lack of education, energy crisis, poverty, violence etc are those facing any other developing country but made worse because of the war situation. History tells us that when people are pushed over the edge, they do react and they react big, like they did last century. Pakistanis are being ripped apart by multiple forces right now, some of them their own, and sooner or later they're going to retaliate InshaAllah. Andheri raat k baad he ujala hota hai. Pakistan is a young developing country in turmoil, it's going to take a while for it to reach the level of stability that our countries have attained and it took them centuries to do so.
Expat Pakistanis are a very important asset to the country. I am determined to take part in some grassroots initiatives InshaAllah one day. We have the resources available to us that the average Pakistani who survives on under $2 a day doesn't have. May Allah swt make us all capable of making positive contributions to the country in whichever small way.
The countries that we live in didn't develop themselves in 65 years in the midst of wars. It took them a LONG time to get to the stage that they're at right now. Some of the social issues facing Pakistan right now were prevalent in our countries as recently as the 1980's. Ehsan uncle has spoken about the kind of racism he had to deal with in the UK, people didn't want to be audited by "a brown guy", despite the UK being considered a developed country back then. And please don't get me started on how many colonies had to suffer just so the British empire could flourish.
I've grown up in a former colony and so I feel more strongly about the ugly colonial history than others. This country's history actually reminds me of Indian/Pakistani history. Anyone heard of the Great Famine? It was "a period of mass starvation, disease and emigration" under the British rule and that is what heightened Irish nationalism, eventually leading to the country's independence. Sounds similar to the nightmare that Indians and Pakistanis went through before, during and after independence. The issues facing Pakistan right now e.g. inequality, lack of education, energy crisis, poverty, violence etc are those facing any other developing country but made worse because of the war situation. History tells us that when people are pushed over the edge, they do react and they react big, like they did last century. Pakistanis are being ripped apart by multiple forces right now, some of them their own, and sooner or later they're going to retaliate InshaAllah. Andheri raat k baad he ujala hota hai. Pakistan is a young developing country in turmoil, it's going to take a while for it to reach the level of stability that our countries have attained and it took them centuries to do so.
Expat Pakistanis are a very important asset to the country. I am determined to take part in some grassroots initiatives InshaAllah one day. We have the resources available to us that the average Pakistani who survives on under $2 a day doesn't have. May Allah swt make us all capable of making positive contributions to the country in whichever small way.
The way things are right now, Pakistan is on the road to becoming the next Afghanistan. Sitting here I don't see much hope. All I see is people regressing back the way they were in the stone ages.
So it's not something you miss. So you don't miss out on anything. See.
And having an extended family isn't all awesome for everyone. I for one could do without all the drama and two-facedness.
Well I do miss out on the extended family, and I enjoy going back and seeing my cousins and family, but that's just my personal case.
On the other hand, ABCDs are not Pakistanis, they are Pakistani-Americans, a very similar but slightly different culture. Say what you will about the pop culture of Pakistan, but that's the motherland and growing up abroad, we are not a part of that. I'm referring to broader things like habits, slang, music preference, cultural events, fashion, movies, things like that. As Desi as some expats are, most ABCDs are very westernized and certainly miss out on those things (whether you consider that a positive or negative is another matter).
I think the article chose some poor examples, and wrongly idealized them as something to be desired, but the broader point remains: Pakistani is not Pakistani-American. Except for the political and economic conditions, neither experience is better or worse, just different.
And I'm purposely ignoring the economic and political realities because one could argue that even a middle class Pakistani (which is a small portion of Pakistan) does not see the "true" poverty stricken Pakistan. I'm just referring to cultural aspects and home life.
Well I do miss out on the extended family, and I enjoy going back and seeing my cousins and family, but that's just my personal case.
On the other hand, ABCDs are not Pakistanis, they are Pakistani-Americans, a very similar but slightly different culture. Say what you will about the pop culture of Pakistan, but that's the motherland and growing up abroad, we are not a part of that. I'm referring to broader things like habits, slang, music preference, cultural events, fashion, movies, things like that. As Desi as some expats are, most ABCDs are very westernized and certainly miss out on those things (whether you consider that a positive or negative is another matter).
I think the article chose some poor examples, and wrongly idealized them as something to be desired, but the broader point remains: Pakistani is not Pakistani-American. Except for the political and economic conditions, neither experience is better or worse, just different.
And I'm purposely ignoring the economic and political realities because one could argue that even a middle class Pakistani (which is a small portion of Pakistan) does not see the "true" poverty stricken Pakistan. I'm just referring to cultural aspects and home life.
The middle class Pakistani is a minority, albeit a bigger minority than the American or any other Pakistanis. The author should have labelled this article "The joys of being an Upper Middle Class Pakistani in Pakistan", and this article would have made much more sense.
The true poverty stricken Pakistan isn't invisible, it's just that you get desensitized to it as a result of seeing it everyday. So I'd say it's not that we don't see it, it's that we see too much of it. The ones who know how to work the system without any empathy for the people flourish and the rest stay mediocre.
The way things are right now, Pakistan is on the road to becoming the next Afghanistan. Sitting here I don't see much hope. All I see is people regressing back the way they were in the stone ages.
I choose not to be a pessimist. I'm not losing hope but I'm being realistic too in that things aren't going to change overnight. The darkest era for the Irish started in the 1840's and they didn't gain independence until 1922. Took them that long for a revolution. The years leading up to the independence saw the kind of violence and disruption that we have going on in Pakistan right now, there was even a civil war and the Irish economy was severely damaged. It only started expanding in the 1960's but took a turn for the worse again in the 1980's. There was mass unemployment, emigration, internal conflict that lasted for over 4 decades. Ireland became known as the "sick man of Europe", that's how bad things were. The country was in stone age as compared to the rest of Europe. See why I keep comparing it to Pakistan? Pakistan is currently the sick man of Asia, it is at the center of regional and global conflict. But it is too powerful a country to become the next Afghanistan. I suggest you read the new book by Stephen Cohen called the Future of Pakistan. In his opinion, Pakistan is of crucial importance to the world and the international community does not want to see it fail. It is unstable though and that's the point I'm making that it takes decades for a country, especially for a former colony and especially for a war-ridden country, to reach some level of stability and prosperity. So I think it's quite unwise to just throw our hands up in the air and say yeah that's it. No, things aren't that simplistic. And the second point I'm making was in response to posts saying yeah well at least we don't have xyz in this country like you do in Pakistan and I'm saying but our countries did suffer from xyz for a long time before they attained this level of socio-economic development so it's going to take this young developing country a while too.
About me being pessimistic. That's probably because Pakistan isn't working for me, the way I want it to. And probably never will, at least not in my lifetime.