yaar irem, the reason i say i might be unhappy, if i settle for not what I am looking for is, that incase i agree with everyone else around me and go with what they say, i might wonder if my life would have been any different. You know, something people never change. I dont want to ruin my life and someone else's because I didnt like something about him to begin with. That woud be really wrong on my part and unfair to both me and the other person.
I know this one girl, who didnt want to marry this rishta she had. Her mother asked her o nce and she said no. She was still forced into it. On her wedding night, she told hte guy she didnt want to be with him. THey still were together for 10 years and had three kids together. She eventually left him and took the kids with her. Now the guy is a wonderful man, was madly in love with her etc etc. Kia mila aisa kar kay uskay parents ko???They ruined two families and hurt a lot of people in the process.I dont want to end up like that.
makes sense?
DSurgeon: I am all for joking around and waht not. But this is meant to be a serious thread. Please provide helpful comments if you can.
irem I just re-read your post again and realised i failed to answer the last part.
[QUOTE]
irem says:
khayr, if you REALLY believe in it then by all means, stick to this requirement. but i'm trying to just question you, asking you to reevaluate and rethink why you have this requirement and then think IS IT really that important?
[/QUOTE]
Yes it is important to me to have someone who thinks like I do. We all know, how some Pakistani men (or perhaps men in general, I am not sure) can have large egoes. The woman shouldnt be more educated than they are, shouldnt make more money than they do etc etc. Do you really think I want to deal with these kinda issues later on?You are right, I dont. And about talking to the guy beforehand and making sure these things dont bother him, how can you guarantee me the guy wont change his views on things later on when he actually has to face all this?
Decide for once and never regret what you choose to do. But do what YOU are comfortable with. Say no if your heart does not accept. The best union is that where both the partners are mature and READY to have the union AND are satisfied with who their partner is. Dont be very picky. Well, I wasnt very picky. I did not have any “requirements” to be honest. So, just look for an honest and good hearted person. Do not look for the superficial things. They come and go. But it is hard to find a good heart. It’s rare. Look for a good heart and with that intelligence as in ability to understand YOU… that should be enough.
Out of experience, I would say that I believe these things have their own time and way of happening. Do not “plan” or go on a mission to “find” someone. It was a boring experience for me. I mean everything should be natural and in its’ own pace. Since I myself was not to curious to get married, I wasnt too anxious for not getting a good match. I think when I’d be mentally ready, maybe I would meet someone out of blue. In my opinion there is no “age” to get married. It is when you are mentally or physically ready.
As someone else here has suggested, just free yourself from it all. Just think about something else for a change, you’d feel much better.