So if u are meeting with a potential. How soon should you make him aware of your past. Espacially if you have been married before and have excess baggage from that relationship. eg children or even just crap that you need to make the potential aware of.
Do you first just sus it out to see that you are right for one another.
Or should you just hope for the best and in the first potential talk time, come out with your whole life history. etc etc
not sure..
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
umm.. lol i'm not too sure .. but i guess in the beginning so that there's no misunderstandings l8er on in the relationship
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
Before the rishta goes anywhere.............he should know you're divorced.
You talk about your past when you start to feel a connection and potential...before that he doesnt deserve such confidential information.
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
Sooner the better.
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
If it's something as major as a previous marriage and/or kids asap.. I would have thought it would be better to get this stuff out of the way right at the start tbh or the other person might think you've misled them..
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
So if u are meeting with a potential. How soon should you make him aware of your past. Espacially if you have been married before and have excess baggage from that relationship. eg children or even just crap that you need to make the potential aware of.
Do you first just sus it out to see that you are right for one another.
Or should you just hope for the best and in the first potential talk time, come out with your whole life history. etc etc
not sure..
If the person you're meeting truly is worthy of your hand, he should be okay with the idea. Something like that should be mentioned very soon as it is a big deciding factor (sadly) for many. i'A he will be okay with it and he will be right for you.
The Prophet Muhammad (saw) specifically married a widowed woman with children to provide her and her children an easier life. We can all only strive to be so perfect, but the least we can do is to at least search for the right qualities in the opposite gender. If this man is not ready to accept that responsibility, then be glad that Allah (swt) just spared you a troublesome marriage.
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
I believe that if you are meeting him with the possible intent of marriage, then he should be told about a past marriage before the meeting itself. Id call him and let him know. However, if its just a broken engagement, or a love interest from the past, then that need not come up till you are comfortable enough.
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
*Hey.. if ur aiming to start afresh then honesty is the best policy and in my two dirhams worth defintely early on.. good luck hun x
*
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
definitely let them know. you wouldn't want someone to do the same to you.
plus, it can be a deal breaker for a lot of people.
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
Lol people there is no doubt in my mind that the other person should be made aware of certain aspects. I am just scared that it might be overkill mentioning something at initial contact esp when its first phonecall
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
unfortunately it maybe an overkill but i agree with Silaaj's advice that if it was a previous marriage or children from a previous marriage that should be told during the 1st phone call.
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
Desi men are so hilarious most of the times. This thing can actually make them think that you are a "liar: because they are always looking for reasons to blame women 
So it should e told…i agree the sooner the better. It would hurt lesser then telling later 
Re: Excess Baggage - How Soon
i agree with some of the ppl... it should be told in the first phone call..
im sure most ppl know somewhat bout the person they are calling so something as big as divorce wont be a secret .. you will just be restating the fact... but if somehow they dont know bout it, i would state it when they are being told my basic background.