Hey Friends
Well most of us go to school and with some of us we have parents who are quite concerned about our studies. Well what should be a good excuse to make to our parents if we aren't doing that good for some reasons, like u weren't able to cheat well or exam was totally different then our expectations.
A teacher gets a blank exam paper with the following written on it by the examinee
“khazany ki kunji teray haath main hay,
agar pass kar day to kia baat hay”
the teacher returned the paper back with the following written on it
“kitaboon ki ghatri teray paas thi,
agar yaad karta to kia baat thi”
ofcourse he the kid failed
IF you are serious about it.. use this one.
Tell them that the PROF made the exam really hard, put in stuff he didn't cover. More than half the class FAILED ..and the SCHOOL is gonna look into this CASE.
sounds good Bhola#1!!
wink
LOOKS like someone has use the same EXCUSE :)
I suggest you do as this student did......
The BAROMETER
Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a
student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student
claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an
impartial arbiter, and I was selected.
I read the examination question:
"SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE
AID OF A BAROMETER."
The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building,
attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up,
measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of
the building."
The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really
answered the question completely and correctly! On the other hand, if full
credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics
course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm
this.
I suggested that the student have another try. I gave the student six
minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show
some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written
anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers
to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for
interrupting him and asked him to please go on.
In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the
barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof.
Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the
formula x=0.5*a*t^2, calculate the height of the building."
At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up.
He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit. While leaving my
colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other
answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.
"Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a
tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the
barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the
length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by
the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building."
"Fine," I said, "and others?"
"Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will
like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the
stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer
along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and his will give you
the height of the building in barometer units."
"A very direct method."
"Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the
barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the
value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the
difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in
principle, can be calculated."
"On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building,
attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing
it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by
the period of the precession".
"Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem.
Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and
knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you
speak to him as follows: 'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If
you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this
barometer."
At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the
conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said
that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach
him how to think.
The student was Neils Bohr and the arbiter Rutherford.
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
Hello Deewana420!
what would you answer this question?
Why A Ship Floats
Q. A cruise ship, made up of tons of steel, is able to float on water.
Steel is much denser than water, so how is it that ships of enormous
size are able to float?
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
Well Shama ji
The reason behind which the ship floats is that the density of ship is a lot less then the density of water with respect to sea, since the volume of the ship is a hell lot less then the water.
Now lets see if u can answer my official moron test
Answer the following 13 questions, then scroll down and check your answers. DON’T CHEAT!!! When you are done, count the number correct and see how you compare to others.
NO CHEATING Here are the answers
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif
o and the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only an hour has passed.
9.Nine. Like I said, all BUT nine die.
10. I didn’t know that Moses had an ark?
11. Meat…that is self-explanaory.>> >>> 12. TWELVE… it is a dozen.
13. Bill Clinton… As far as I know, he hasn’t changed his name
So, how did you do?>> >>> >> >>>
13 correct…GENIUS… you ARE good!
10-12 correct…ABOVE AVERAGE…but don’t get a swelled head
7-9 correct… AVERAGE… but who want to be average?
4-6 correct…SLOW…pay attention to the question.
1-3 correct IDIOT… what else can I say.
0 correct…CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON ! ! !
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif
, i don’t feel to good right now…
Dear Deewana420 sahab!
YOUR ANSWER IS WRONG!
can you find some wrong in this answer!!!
They can't float.
Remember the Titanic.
Anyone who pays $3,000 to go on a boat for a week
with a bunch of people they don't know deserves the
cruelest form of death available.
Slowly sinking
to the bowels of oceans
in their contemporary Hawaiian plaid shorts
as
god
takes the burden of life away from those who are
not fit to observe it. Perhaps the only force
allowing remote floatation is the plethora of bombs
strategically implanted in the hull of the ship
causing a massive upward thrust to counteract the
weight of their inconclusive stupidity.
I sit back with my Miller High Life on the cusp of
the island and watch and I think what a waste of
explosives and steel and 40 year old women who peak
to the bottom of their fat heart-burned husbands
sexual pendulums at the bottom of their swing.
It does not get any better than this.
dear Deewana sahib!
I was surprised the answer of your question. very goods one. You showed me something i did i knew. the navity. That every question has a fact. We should look at the question in very different angles answer also in different shapes. I glad i have found out this.
Thanks yaar!
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
Dear Genius sahab!!!!!
What about this question...
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
Dear Shama ji
Well every body have their own way of thinking, there are some questions which cannot have definite answers, not everybody can agree on same views. Well i am not a genius i won't have the Grade problems if i would be a genius, thats why i call myself deewana and put that post up there. Well to your question i believe it should be exothermic where the heat is gonna be releazed becuase when u go to hell u r gonna get burned and that is gonna be because of the heat that is gonna be releazed from the hell.
Very Good sahab!
Here is the more details....
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the
rate they ar leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and since people do
not belong to more than on religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
#1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in Hell
before I sleep with you," and we take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, the #2
cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
Hello Deewana Jii
Here is another challenge!
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS ?
You opinion should base on physical calculation!!!!!!!!!!!
you will be surprised.......
khuda hafiz
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
Dear Shama ji
Well this time i was rite, even though our views were different but we agreed on the same answer, u sure do think in deep depth, well i ain't that big of a nerd. Well for your question i don't believe in Santa Clauses because i never encountered real one. Now what do u have to say about them.
Well Deewana sahib.
Let me show what kind of calculation we can do to show that santa claus cant exist.
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS ?
I No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while
most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
II There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim,
Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population
Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes
there's at least one good child in each.
III Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth,
assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for
each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the
chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up
the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are
evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will
accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do
what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650
miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the
Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
IV The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a
medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as
overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see
point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200
reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison -
this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
V 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the
same fashion as space crafts reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION
joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind
them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths
of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound
Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now!
But of course i always thought that santa claus dont exist!!
the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.
shamas
how about the truth?
a lot of our fears are irrational. try it! it just may work.
my parents were always very strict about school, yet i always managed to do poorly, and made constant excuses. then i tried telling the truth and they were more helpful than i could have imagined. i will find out this semester what a difference studying can make! :) :) :)
Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another
Hey Shama ji
Well why do u think so deep, or calculate so much for so simple questions, you shouldn't stess that much on your mind for so simple question, its not to good for cute girls to stress there mind a lot until they are nerds.
Well thanks for your suggestions Munni ji
but at times its pretty painful to say the truth i mean there are many bad sites for that, like you may get grounded or ur parents might ask u to cut down on ou leisure activities, it all depends on ones parents how strict they are.
Well munni and Deewanna sahabs!
I guess you are right that i am actually nerd! I shouldnt bother so much for simple questions. I guess i am adicted to much to science. I should rather make someone happy and give a sensuell touch to those cuty girls! What does flower looks like, i dont know.
Well i believe the Munni suggestion is the best its better to say the truth rather then lying, it won't take me any where. Infact i will end up saying several lies just to support the first one. Its better to be speak the truth, and get it out of ur mind then lying. Even though its a hard one but the best way
Well Shama ji you should be proud of yourself. Every one has his own personality.
Don't think of what other has to say about you. Be happy with what you are.