Ex friend issue

[CorruptAngel]

Re: Ex friend issue

@redvelvet

I think it would create more drama/gossip if you tell the other people in your social circle about whatever it is that she did. It could potentially start this ugly battle where you guys both end up going back and forth with “she said this/she did that”…and the involvement of others will only make it stickier.

***You admitted that you and your husband have an “issue” too. This woman may have tried to stir the pot and create problems for you…but you can’t put ALL the blame on her and her husband. The reason being that you and your husband are both adults…you both have the ability to reason…and your relationship should be strong enough so that you try to communicate your concerns with another in a calm and positive way as opposed to becoming easily “bharkaao’ed” or rushing to believe the negative things someone else suggests about your partner. Since you and your spouse also have to take responsibility for your own actions/relationship…I would say that it’s better to take this as a learning experience and stop interacting with this woman.

I think it’s a positive step that you have the courage to recognize areas of improvement in your relationship…and it’s also good that you are aware of the external sources (such as this “friend”) who is an instigator. If you can’t ignore her completely, then just maintain a civil distance. You don’t have to hang out with her…you can make excuses. You can greet her…but you can choose not to reveal details about your personal life with her (knowing she can’t be trusted). It’s hard for people to change…and soon enough others will pick upon her negative qualities as well. I’ve observed that eventually what happens is that SEVERAL people end up being on the same page about a person’s character. I think that avoidance is better than telling all the other friends what she did. The latter would get complicated.

Thank you…

I agree with you, I can’t put 100% blame on her and her husband because of our own lack of understanding as a couple, you’d think we would be mature after 4 years of marriage but I guess not. I was also thinking of not explaining anything to other friends because then I would have to bring up my issue with my husband. It would cause more damage and hurt to us.

I did try to keep distance from her but it didn’t really work, since she lives so close to our place it was difficult to avoid seeing her and then we’d get together once in a while but they would cause issues every time so I just decided to confront her and stopped talking!