So got my ‘date’ coming up soon with fiance to be InshAllah if all goes well. (got delayed due to london riots)
Anyway these dumb thoughts are going through my head and making me all not wanting to go.
What if he thinks im ugly/fat/ogre looking/not as pretty as he remembers
What if he hates me
Even worse what if he hates me and I really like him…then ill be really sad
What if like we dont talk
You know im winding myself up about this so much and being so dumb and insecure about it that I feel like im going to an exam which is not actually going to help me in anyway at all.
I think the reason I am insecure though is due to previous rejection from men and I have internalised it and made it part of my identity..not good at all!
Now I have like 2 days to give myself some GS therapy to get rid of my dumb negative insecure thoughts before the date
So got my 'date' coming up soon with fiance to be InshAllah if all goes well. (got delayed due to london riots)
Anyway these dumb thoughts are going through my head and making me all not wanting to go.
What if he thinks im ugly/fat/ogre looking/not as pretty as he remembers
Do you like the way you look? You do not allow anyone else to change how you feel about yourself. So if he thinks this way...you're not really missing out are you? :)
What if he hates me
Its okay...not everyone likes me but I don't care. You're not married to him...so don't stress over these things.
Even worse what if he hates me and I really like him...then ill be really sad
You'll be sad but you're smart enough to knock some sense into yourself...I know that. Not everyone we meet will love us or like us. Its a fact of life.
What if like we dont talk
Then you just chalk it up to a learning experience and try again.
You know im winding myself up about this so much and being so dumb and insecure about it that I feel like im going to an exam which is not actually going to help me in anyway at all.
I think the reason I am insecure though is due to previous rejection from men and I have internalised it and made it part of my identity..not good at all!
Now I have like 2 days to give myself some GS therapy to get rid of my dumb negative insecure thoughts before the date :(
**Inspiron, the date has been set. The man will be there. You cannot cancel.
SOOOO...might as well make sure you have a good time. Pick the spots you like and enjoy yourself.
**
Relax girl. Enjoy it is YOUR time now where so many people would be willing to be on your shoes. However, it is your destiny Insha'Allah. Be brave, upright, strong and firm. You are doing absolutely fine. I wouldn't say, you are nervous. Rather you are very happy. Use this strength to relax, smile and enjoy!!. May Allah give you strength at every step.
What if he thinks im ugly/fat/ogre looking/not as pretty as he remembers
What if he hates me
Even worse what if he hates me and I really like him...then ill be really sad
What if like we dont talk
(
1) He's met you in person before, so if you found you THAT hideous.....it would not have progressed to the stage that it's at now.
2) Hate's a rather strong word. People don't even pursue rishtas that they "dislike"......let alone "hate." So, he doesn't hate you...if things have come this far. During your date...there's a possibility that he might feel you two aren't so compatible or he might not like a particular aspect of your personality.........but even that is not on the same level as "hate". Again, it's a strong word. Besides...let's say that he did "hate" you.........you're too smart to waste your time on a guy who is doesn't reciprocate.
3) It's natural to be sad when your feelings are not returned, but that's a part of life. You will move on from him because you haven't invested that much emotional energy in him in the first place. Just see this date as an opportunity to "get to know him better" as opposed to determinining whether you're going to love him. Maybe that might ease the tension.
4) Some amount of talking WILL take place. It may start off slow and awkward...but it will progress. You do know this guy...you know what he does....you know his family. You can ask him open ended questions about these things....he'll answer them...he'll reciprocate with the asking....and a conversation will happen.
You seem more worried about what kind of an impression you'll make on him. You're so worried about his approval.....but .....what if YOU don't find him attractive or funny or interesting? Don't your own thoughts matter? It's not only his criteria that you have to meet, right? What about your own? You're not in "love" with him at this stage, Inspiron. You're just getting to know him better.
If you both just don't "click".........then that's something you should find out BEFORE hand as opposed to after an engagement/wedding. If things don't work out....then this date could be something that saves you from greater heartache down the road.
Have you ever come across people in school/at work/at social settings.....that you think are nice.......but you don't find that compatible, so the relationship doesn't develop further. You don't necessarily "hate" them...it's jus that there's a lack of similarity/chemistry. Sometimes a person (male or female) may feel that way about you....sometimes you may feel that way about them. It's part of life. Just relax...and have fun.
why u think so much think beyond ab ur future , jst go n enjoy the date , dont care abt even if he accept or reject jst take it as if u r going to hav some dinnner or lunch som time pass ghupshup or talk with som frd things lik tht , forget abt the past n jst b b positive ... jst take it as if he is also a normal human being not a prince Charles n having way much insecurities as compared to uuu ... n r the 1 who will goona decide the final the final decision maker accept or reject not him ...:)
just tell him prior to your meeting/date that he should not let his hopes high. you are fat, ugly insecure b**** who knows s*** about anything and will most probably bore him to death with her insecurities, incompetence, and lack of judgement.
honestly girl, cant you just worry about having a good time on your date? do you really have to stress about marriage and all that stuff. dont you care that is there gonna be ample time to get to know him???is he gonna be able to impress you or not??
Listen, we don't like girls who feel insecure, we can tell, trust me. So just go, relax, pop a xanax if you need to, but for Pete's sake, just chill, don't over think it, don't make it complicated. Go, have dinner, be fun and cheery and have a good time. Sheesh.
inspiron don't worry ! obviouslyy he liked you so things got to this point. You are not married yet..you are not even engaged ! so to please him shouldnt be an obligation.
Just relax and focus on having a good time. You have found yourself a good dress, think of a good company and a great dinner. IA it would work out well for you.
For once just enjoy this moment of having a date which all the barray of the family approve and want you to go ..shouldn't this be fun? :D
seriously, do not think like this....it will show and you will end up being this jittery, nervous insecure mess...
positive thoughts lead to positive actions...act like the hottest thing on this planet and you will be treated like it!!*
:O i know bechara i know he speaks to his siblings alot so hope they are coming him down.
and also advising him not to wear that hideous shirt he wore the first time i saw him.........not that the shirt makes him a bad person and no i wont judge him on it. but it was hideous.
Sounds like you’re already married, planning his future wardrobe and stuff.
Just try and be your self inspi, you’re a smart girl. Believe me, it will be fine, and if it doesn’t work out, really, it’s not the end of the world as you you’re not emotionally vested in him anyway.
Relax inspiron... he really liked you, his family liked you... they are planning an engagement soon Insha Allah. Remember, how they immediately said YES to you and how you took sooo much time to say YES and how they were waiting for your haan ;) So he must be more worried and nervous than you and must be thinking how you might not find him attractive, how you might not like him after meeting him etc. You are a gem dear and he must be sooo looking forward to see you and then to spend the rest of his life with you Insha Allah. So just be happy. Achi tarah tayyar ho ker jana ;) and just be yourself. Wese iftaar per date hai kia? ;) Do enjoy it to the maximum. Will pray for you. It will be fine Insha Allah :)
