I feel like aunty is a related lady older to you. So if a friends mum eg I would call aunty and my own aunties. I have decided to call new ones by first name cz it does offend people. And I also find it weird calling unrelated women aunty cz they are not. As you say we are all adults
This. I have a Pakistani co-worker who's older than me with a child, I don't call her baaji. My Indian manager, I don't call him uncle. I actually don't get it. If my neighbor is Pakistani, he or she is being called by their given name.
I reserve my auntys and uncles for my family, my husband's family and some of my very close friends parents.
I personally don't want to be called aunty, baaji, aapa, etc. My younger siblings and cousins call me my name.
Auntyhood or Unclehood starts at the age of 40. This is also called middle age. Anyone before 40 is not in aunty or uncle category. 40 is age where you get most exposure of life and have clear understanding of matters.
I think age is perfect measure to declare aunty or uncle.
This. I have a Pakistani co-worker who's older than me with a child, I don't call her baaji. My Indian manager, I don't call him uncle. I actually don't get it. If my neighbor is Pakistani, he or she is being called by their given name.
I reserve my auntys and uncles for my family, my husband's family and some of my very close friends parents.
I personally don't want to be called aunty, baaji, aapa, etc. My younger siblings and cousins call me my name.
I'm the same, always just preferred to be called by my name..
This one time, I had this creepy 40+ man call me aunty in Pakistan and I was like wth!!! I was like 18 or 19 back then.
I guess you earn the aunty status as soon as you get married. The middle-aged aunties pick their kids up and quickly say “beta aunty ko kalma sunao.” And then you get the hint, to call the bachay ki mama a Baji, not Aunty.
You call the older ones aunty, they’re offended. You call them by their name and they’re still offended. Baji is politically correct, I find.
As for being called Aunty/Baji - meh, I’m indifferent. I have people ten years older and ten years younger who I call by their first name and vice versa, and then I have others who even within a few years of being older than me - just based on the relationship - get an automatic baji/bhabhi out of deference - it’s a sign of respect. It really depends on the nature and closeness of the relationship. Anyone who is my mother’s contemporary is an aunty.
My barometer of whether I should use someone’s first name is based on how much takalluf there is in the relationship. Friendly terms and no takalluf = first name.
And as far as calling someone within the community who’s my mother’s contemporary by only their first name - that’s not happening!!! Part of the Pakistani tehzeeb and expectation is to refer to an older person by a title of respect. I couldn’t fathom calling someone that much older by their first name and neither I, nor my mother would ever hear the end of it. And by my mother’s contemporaries, this group of women includes the more forward-thinking/non-traditional Pakistani/South Asian women in the community who tend to want to hold on to their youth a while longer
In our circle of people we know, women in their 50's call my mom aunty - my mom is 65. I find that insulting. I've had to correct people before and I dont hesitate to do it. Making yourself feel younger by calling someone a couple years old than you Aunty is pathetic.
I grew up in Karachi and the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. My mum wasn't too happy about it but then she didn't like being called Aunty herself either. I guess that is what made her mad, being called Aunty and her kid not returning the favor to the offenders. I couldn't say it because I viewed the words Uncle & Aunty as tools of torture.
I'd just say someone's name and add sahab to it or aap, aap ki walda. And there were those time when there was no getting around those words.
My mom is a lot cooler about it now. She's so cool that she calls people 4-5 years younger than her beta. The years have made her smarter.
As the word says it is meant to be called for someone who is our father's or mother's age ie 20+ years old to us. If you are 25 and some 3-4 yo kid calls you uncle/aunt then it should be okay. Among relatives too I follow the same order. In my clan, younger boys and girls are my chacha and bua in relation. Some of them are so young that I carry them in lap so I don't call them chacha/bua.
Just about time.
I personally dont mind being called aunty because I became one at the age of 14 when my niece was born.
When it comes addressing older women I call them khala ,little younger would be api and the ones I have no clue App works well.
But hey aunty can be very damaging, I learnt the hard way. :l
We were in a birthday party yesterday where a 30+ something girl was trying to talk with my 2 year old and I said" baita aunty ki baat suno "and that sweet lady screamed at me like if I killed her cow. I was truly embarrassed at the situation. I could have call her didi(she was indian ) but my bad aunty was on tip of my tounge as I hangout with other momy friends .
Agreed! Also, calling someone aunty means that you perceive them as looking older. Its different when they are your mom's friends or your friends' mothers.
11
I could write a book about this.
In our circle of people we know, women in their 50's call my mom aunty - my mom is 65. I find that insulting. I've had to correct people before and I dont hesitate to do it. Making yourself feel younger by calling someone a couple years old than you Aunty is pathetic.
