Just curious, when you visit family/friends for dinner/lunch do you take something to their home? For example, bring a cake, box of chocolates etc.? Specifically if you are going to their home for the first time (maybe they just moved into a new home etc.) or if it is someone whose home you don’t go to that often (few times a year at most).
I am curious because we always take something when we are invited to any family or friend’s home. And we take nice stuff and spend properly. I have noticed sometimes people come to our place empty-handed. I don’t care that they do, but I just wonder if we are going out of our way too much then? Do we always have to take something? Is it considered rude not to? What are the guidelines on this? Do you always bring something when visiting others? Do others always bring something when visiting you?
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
if i am going to my close friends house, which i go almost every week, i am not going to take anything every time. sometimes if i want to take some desserts or snacks i might but rarely.
but if i am invited to an actual dawat then either ill bring a cake or dessert. if its a birthday party, or anniversary party or a special event dinner, then ill bring a proper gift, or some money as a gift.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I was wondering about that a while ago. Is it Sunnah to take something to the host’s home? We bring something sometimes. There are a couple of auntis who always brings something over…usually something yummy.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I take canisters to bring back leftovers.
usually flowers or some dessert.
people have different styles and preferences and stuff that I get may or may not be something they want to use.
flowers and desserts they can enjoy then and there
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
if we are going to someone’s new house then we take along a proper gift.
otherwise we take along something sweet like a box of chocolates,cake,sweets or donuts. whether we are invited to actual dawat or not, we cant go to someones place empty handed.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I always take some gift usually household item when visiting first time, else wth friends it’s always either cake or chocolates or trifles I make. Wth close family depends sometimes n sometimes not wth distant family it depend on my second cousins what they like sometimes it’s chocolate , pizza , grilled chicken
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I never go empty handed to someone’s house…it would feel too weird.
I do get guests who come empty handed to my place but I don’t keep tally over who brings what etc since I know I’ll never go empty handed to their anyway.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
We do for most dawats in the family and some close friends. But we often hang out with same group that does potlucks or go out to eat…so no need for things there.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I do very similar to what khatti described. At times If I can will cook something for family/close friends, and if it’s first time then chocolates or flowers.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I only bring something if I am going to someone’s house for the first time or if its a gift giving occasion like a birthday etc. Usually that’s what i have noticed desis in the two different cities I have lived in USA do.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
i also almost always take something when visiting and wondered the same question, as we’ve had plenty of people come to our place empty handed (not that it really matters). i guess it depends on your upbringing
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I only bring something if I am going to someone’s house for the first time or if its a gift giving occasion like a birthday etc. Usually that’s what i have noticed desis in the two different cities I have lived in USA do. Can’t bring something each time I visit someone (unless its the first time etc.) because here in the community we get invited quite often 3-4 times a month. However, it is mostly considered not to bring something if you are a first time guest. That said, sometimes people bring things the first time and sometimes they don’t. Can’t blame them with the amount of socializing we have. I try and observe the first time protocol each time myself.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I always take something if I’m going for lunch or dinner. A cake, chocs, or flowers. I would never go empty handed, so can’t understand how anyone can. As they r going to the effort of cooking for you then I think it’s the least you can show you appreciate them.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
I normally take something if it is the first visit or their is an event. Otherwise, we prefer keeping it casual.
Personally, I would prefer people not bring something (cake, chocolates, or house gifts, etc) every time they visit us. I would be very happy if the first time visitors came empty handed as well.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
so this 3-4 times a month invites are from the same family? if yes, then i would feel the need more to bring them something each time to appreciate their efforts of inviting me over and being a host to me 3-4 times a month.
Re: Etiquette when visiting someone for dinner/lunch
We always take something when invited somewhere for lunch or dinner- usually we buy a cake or chocolates. We have never thought it proper to turn up empty handed.
