Any of you come across any siblings that have been estranged. Does it ever get better ? How are family occasions and gatherings managed where one is abusive and tries to find reasons to create a tamasha or purposely create a scene by making snide comments…
How is this matter dealt with from an islamic perspective. Suppose 2 brothers are estranged. One (A) wants to approach the other and make things better but is afraid of what B will do and in the past B has gotten verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. B is not willing to let the past be past and everytime A approaches to mend things B considers it a victory and back to square one of the past things coming up and the abuses once again.
We all know that our siblings, parents have some rights over us and we are answerable for those rights on the day of Judgement. How do you save yourself on the Day of Judgement.
Any of you come across any siblings that have been estranged. Does it ever get better ? How are family occasions and gatherings managed where one is abusive and tries to find reasons to create a tamasha or purposely create a scene by making snide comments....
How is this matter dealt with from an islamic perspective. Suppose 2 brothers are estranged. One (A) wants to approach the other and make things better but is afraid of what B will do and in the past B has gotten verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. B is not willing to let the past be past and everytime A approaches to mend things B considers it a victory and back to square one of the past things coming up and the abuses once again.
We all know that our siblings, parents have some rights over us and we are answerable for those rights on the day of Judgement. How do you save yourself on the Day of Judgement.
**yeah, i've seen siblings who were estranged for life...
***...Allah orders Muslims NOT to sever blood relatives [silla-e-reHmii].*
I know KFK but it takes two to tango so the silla e rahmi needs to be on both sides. That is why I gave the above example how does one deal with a situation when B is not allowing A to rebuild ties. A is still answerable how do you pass this test??
I know KFK but it takes two to tango so the silla e rahmi needs to be on both sides. That is why I gave the above example how does one deal with a situation when B is not allowing A to rebuild ties. A is still answerable how do you pass this test??
**Allah looks at your intentions and then at your deeds...if you try your best you have fulfilled Allah's commands. you have to keep doing it. for instance, send them greetings on occasions, go to see them regularly, you keep doing the right thing...your ego should NOT come in the way. if they get a restraining order against you then you stop and then you are 'surKh roo' ... you must NOT hold any grudges...yes, it's hard but that's where the challenge lies and remember one thing...you are doing this to fulfill your duty as a Muslim to please Allah.
i've done that...my family has done that...in spite of the bad things my cousin did, we had a 'cold war' for years and then my father before he passed away once told us to forgive and forget and re-establish relationships for the sake of Allah...and, we did! ... now, we have good relations, alHamdolillah.**
in my case, we had fights but it never lasted so long we usually put our differences aside and try to create better understanding so we can get along easily next time. I personally consider fighting a blessing of Allah as long as it helps in improving relation among siblings.
and you know, it works. blood relations cant be changed, only way is to understand their POV and your life will become so easy, believe me.
you can start giving him some good signals of better relationship by gifting him his favorite item. you can go outside on dinner and create some friendly atmosphere and let him know that he means you a lot and you want to him on your side at any cost.
let me know, if you need help i can guide you. in the mean time you can also pray and ask Allah for better relationship with him.
P.S. just imagine, if siblings stop fighting, this world become tasteless place. :@: