Re: estranged from fam?
wow even reading what I wrote last night, I’m surprised. I was pretty pissed off.
I live in the US. My parents had jobs but one of was laid off (thank you, economy) and the other just got super injured so is on leave. We have a lot of property so that is helping us financially.
The reason my dad gets my paycheck is fairly stupid. It’s because that’s how it’s always been done. I blame my mother 100% for this. He’s a control freak and she’s the enabler. She’s, unfortunately, been a pretty big doormat when it came to finances, always deferring to him in terms of that. Because of that, my dad’s begun to expect it. When I was younger, it was fine but now that I"m older it makes me mad to no end that I have to justify every expenditure. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a shopaholic and my dad uses that to justify why the money’s going to him. And the whole “we’re a family, there’s no mine and yours” is what they all use. I’m fine with that mentality as I haven’t had problems spending money but it DOES piss me off when they take the fact that they have control over my finances BECAUSE I LET THEM and throw it in my face.
I agree the hotel idea was dumb. But I did end up coming out to a coffee shop to study and get work done away from home so I can calm down. I need a way out because I can’t handle the micromanaging in all my affairs (my dad turned down a fairly good rishta last month because, according to him, the guy wasn’t “good enough” even though EVERYONE else was on board. Eventually he made his disdain so obvious that the guy’s side backed out) and school seems to be the only way without having them cut me off. **I sound laalchi as hell but I start medical school and I can’t afford to have them cut me off completely. **
I don’t know. I know they are stressed because of some financial stuff that just happened a few weeks back and I’m still dealing with the failed rishta tha seemed to be going well. And I guess we’re all a little stir crazy from being around each other so often. I just don’t appreciate the insults and jabs at my character. It makes me sad because I feel like most desi people have really stable/good relationships with parents and here I am complaning about mine.
You dont sound lalchi. You are lalchi. IF your intention is just to keep “in contact” with your parents so that they can pay of on your medshool. If you want your own life and wanna have the control, be brave enough to stand up now. Loads of people put themselves through schools/colleges and so can you. Its not really a big issue as of such. You cant pick and choose in this matter.