You’ll forget your English by the time you finish
reading this.
This is a true essay written by a Bihari(Indian
State) candidate at the recent UPSC(IAS)
Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on
the Indian cow:
HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also
he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give
milks, but will do so when he is got child.] He is
same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has got four legs together. Two are forward
and two are afterwards. His whole body can be
utilised for use.More so the milk. Milk comes from 4
taps attached to his basement. horses dont have any
such attachment. What can it do? Various ghee,
butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and
so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
and mankind generally. His motion is slow only
because he is of lazy species. Also his other
motion.. [gober] is much useful to trees, plants as
well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand,
and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that
extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards
she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the
inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the
meadows in the grass. His only attacking and
defending organ is the horns, specially so when he
is got child. This is done by knowing his head
whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to
the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity forwards.He has got tails also,
situated in the backyard, but not like similar
animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit
with it.The palms of his feet are soft unto the
touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night
time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other
relatives.This is the cow…
Surprisingly, the candidate passed the exam! Now,
you can judge that how capable the Indian executive
command is…!
