Escape From The Fake Liberals
The liberal class in Pakistan have been getting quite a negative reputation of late. For some reason, liberals are usually associated with something “bad” and “foreign” in our country and I’ve never understood why - that was until I started reading and listening to the views of some so-called “liberals”. You see I consider my a Pakistani Patriot, but I oddly find myself in tune with much of what liberalism stands for and the benefits it could bring Pakistani society and politics. So if I am a liberal, does this make me an enemy of the state? Can a person be a Pakistani Patriot and a liberal at the same time? The answer is yes.
What Pakistanis need to realise is just as how Islam has been hijacked by a few misguided people, liberalism in Pakistan has also been hijacked by a group of maggots I’d like to call “Fake Liberals” (also known as Pseudoliberals or American apologists). These people claim to be liberals, yet don’t follow any principles of what liberalism actually stands for. It is very unfortunate that the word “liberalism” and “liberal” in Pakistan has been confused with “westernism” and “supporting American foreign policy”. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
I’m writing this article not just to defend REAL liberals, but in an essence to defend myself and to educate Pakistanis on what a real liberal is and what a fake liberal is, and how being a real liberal doesn’t me us any less Pakistani.
Understanding Liberalism & Who True Liberals Are
Liberalism is a broad political ideology or worldview founded on the ideas of liberty and equality. Liberals espouse a wide array of views depending on their understanding of these principles, but generally liberals support ideas such as civil rights, free press, free and fair elections, human rights and free exercise of religion. Now let’s suppose I removed “liberalism” in the beginning of this paragraph and replaced it with “Jinnah’s Vision of Pakistan”. Would you be able to tell you just read a definition of liberalism? The answer is no!
It’s ironic that so many Pakistanis assume “liberalism” as being something “foreign” and “bad”, when much of what liberalism stands for is taught in Islam and is practiced (or SHOULD BE practiced) by Muslims! A person who follows the true essence of liberalism would never support drone attacks, never support the wholesale slaughtering of innocent people and most importantly would never deliberately speak out against his or her own country using lies and deception. A true liberal does not need to prove him or herself to the world by speaking or writing in English all the time, or have an urge to follow American fashion trends for absolutely no reason. A true liberal believes in freedom - the freedom of choice, freedom of information, freedom of speech, freedom to live. There is nothing bad in being a REAL liberal at all. A REAL liberal is something which Pakistan needs right now. But what Pakistan does NOT need right now are FAKE liberals.
Recognising Fake Liberals (ie. Pseudoliberals or American Apologists)
Now that you’ve understood what a real liberal is, allow me to take this time to dissect what a FAKE liberal is. Other than the fact they are no more useful to society than maggots (I’m insulting maggots), a fake liberal is someone who claims to be a liberal, yet follows not one iota of the principles that liberalism stands for. Fake liberals can be found all over the world, and Pakistan is no exception to that fact. In the United States and the west these people are referred to as “hipsters” or “yuppies” as well. But what exactly are they? How can you identify them? Allow me to introduce to you the “20 REASONS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE A FAKE LIBERAL” list - see if you can identify anybody, and if you can, TAG THEM!
-
Fake Liberals usually say things like “I’m not voting for anybody” - not because no politician is worth voting for, but only because it’s trendy to say it
-
Fake liberals love sitting in coffee shops with laptops to write long mundane articles on myths based on Balochistan, while completely ignoring the plight of people in Waziristan (who are actually being killed!)
-
Fake liberals hide their lack of intellect behind long words, hoping to trick you into thinking they’re smarter than they actually portray themselves to be
-
Fake liberals tend to support all aspects of American Foreign Policy in Afghanistan and Pakistan, including the wholesale murder of innocent people by drone terror attacks - and if anyone questions them, that person is passed off as a “terrorist” or a “Taliban apologist”
-
Fake liberals love to criticise the Pakistan Armed Forces, probably the only institution left in the country which functions properly - this probably explains why they love attacking it so much
-
Fake liberals will commonly shout things like “repeal the Blasphemy law” only because somebody wrote it in the New York Times, while conveniently overlooking the fact that the Blasphemy law protects all religions against negative sentiments and abuse - while the law needs massive reform, repealing it is simply useless - enforcing it is the real problem
-
Fake liberals are wishful thinkers and not critical thinkers. They are excellent at memorising and regurgitating information off fellow confused fake liberals such as Najam Sethi or something they read in the Express Tribune, without really understanding how to decipher it
-
Fake liberals like to bark a lot, but they can’t take it. They like to point other people out for their faults, but if you do the same to them, you might as well have thrown a bucket of acid on their face (ie. Sabir Nazar banned our page because he’s a coward)
-
Fake liberals will commonly question the Two-Nation Theory and promote a United South Asia (ie. Aman Ka Tamasha)
-
Fake liberals like to suffer and complain…even if people offer them advice on how to deal with a problem they get defensive as if you called their mother a one legged whore
-
Fake liberals don’t like to solve problems - they usually just continuously complain about it and when nobody is listening to them, they will often do or say something outrageous to get public attention
-
Fake liberals stress on saying things like “Kashmir is India’s problem” even though 1/3rd of Kashmir lies within Pakistani territory
-
Fake liberals don’t read…they claim they do but DON’T BE FOOLED - they like to make stuff up as they go along
-
Fake liberals are very selfish and only care about their self-image and not what’s really going on… they talk about changing the world, but they never really think to change themselves
-
Fake liberals reach a point where they stop learning - they are extremely closed to new ideas and new paradigms which means they voluntarily retard their mental and intellectual growth
-
Fake liberals are incapable of putting themselves in someone else’s shoes - they suffer from severe tunnel vision
-
Fake liberals are self-absorbed and take things way too personally (like insulting people on Twitter)
-
Fake liberals claim to think that all humans are created equal: but when you don’t fit their preferred stereotype of how they feel you should behave and be, they are shocked and offended! They often find it seemingly hard to cope with their misjudgment (ie. Educated young Pakistanis who disapprove of drone terrorist attacks)
-
Fake liberals live on Twitter and usually never step foot outside for several weeks at a time (ie. Beena Sarwar)
-
Fake liberals tend to think they can pass off as “real liberals” if they speak English really loudly and write everything in English
-
Fake liberals also tend to assume that Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto was a genius and a heavenly body who blessed our great country and did no wrong, while Zia-ul-Haq is to blame for all our problems today (in reality, both were the seeds to our problems today)
-
Fake liberals tend to confuse “Modernisation” with “Westernisation”
Fake Liberals & There Fascination With Attacking The Two-Nation Theory
Fake liberals love attacking the two-nation theory. As these people are anti-Pakistan maggots, it comes to no surprise why they would do such a thing. Commonly you will hear things like “Jinnah was greedy for power”, which is nothing more than a preposterous lie. Had he really been greedy for power, Jinnah would have accepted to become the 1st Prime Minister of India in 1947, but he declined. If he was greedy for power, why would he argue with the British for another country and then allow Liaquat Ali Khan to become the first Prime Minister? Fake liberals don’t have an answer to that, so then they’ll move onto comparing Jinnah with Gandhi (a homosexual who slept with 14 year old girls). And to top it all off, they’ll make an assertion that the 1971 debacle of East Pakistan is evidence for the defeat of the Two-Nation Theory. Garbage. The Two-Nation theory still stands, because today Bangladesh is still a country. Had it re-absorbed itself back into India (which India tried to do several times after 1971) the two-nation theory could be called dead. But no, East Pakistan left because no country could maintain two wings separated by vast expanse of enemy territory. East-West Germany were side-by-side. North-South Korea are side-by-side. East-West Pakistan was separated by India. 1971 was bound to happen, whether anybody liked it or not.
Fake Liberals Say “Bhutto Good…Zia Bad”
Fake liberals love to toot how Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto was a great man while Zia-ul-Haq created all the terrorists and encouraged extremism in the country. The reality is, both men were the seeds to our problems today! Fake liberals also commonly forget to mention why and how Zia-ul-Haq was put into power (i.e. Washington).
Fake Liberals Brainwash You Into Thinking If You Speak Against America, You’re A Terrorist
*
A common theme I see when reading articles from fake liberal journalists like Najam Sethi and Beena Sarwar. They seem to push this idea that if you question American foreign policy and protest against terror drones who murder innocent children, that you are a terrorist sympathiser and a Taliban apologist.
Fake Liberals Love To Attack The Army…Because It’s “Cool”
When fake liberals have nothing else to do or say, rest assured they’ll find a way to attack the Army. These slime buckets of filth attack a group of men and women who risk there lives to protect our nation, while they sit comfortably in coffee shops writing blog after blog and posting tweet after tweet how the Army “ruined Pakistan” while trash like Altaf Hussain, Nawaz Sharif, Maulana Diesal and the infamous Asif Zardari are let off the hook. Have you ever seen these people speak out against the political establishment of this country? Should beg the question about who these folks really are.
Conclusion
So what’s the point of this long rant? The point is, just because someone claims to be a liberal, doesn’t mean they are. Pakistan (like much of the world) have been infected by a minority of confused hipsters who have no idea how the world really works. These people claim to be liberals but in reality are American Apologists who shove American Foreign Policy into the minds of Pakistanis - the majority of whom can be found in our media. They care not about Pakistan or its well-being or its people, for them the paycheck they get from Washington is god. Can such people really be trusted?
In conclusion, I would like to urge my fellow Pakistanis to please not attack liberals as a whole. Try and differentiate between the real liberals who are proud to be Pakistanis and “fake liberals” who are douchebags.
Liberals are just as proud Pakistanis as anybody else and want to be constructive members of society like moderates or conservatives. Do not be fooled by “fake liberals” who are pushing for westernisation and American foreign policy in our region.
Westernisation is not modernisation!
Fake Liberal Hall of Fame
- Najam Sethi
- Beena Sarwar
- Imtiaz Alam (Drunk Pervert)
- Samad Khurram
- Marvi Sirmed (SAFMA [edited])
- Asma Jehangir
- Hamid Mir
- Nadeem F. Paracha (Crackhead)
- Taimur Commie Laal Wala (Supports the bombing of trains)
- All The Mummy Daddys At Newsweek Pakistan
- All The Mummy Daddys At Express Tribune
