English/Urdu problem

[wishkamar]

@Niksik

So I’ve often heard elders and even peers say teach your kids urdu (or whatever your native language is) as they will learn English anyway when they start school…right. I agree that our children living outside of their homeland should know their native language, but I don’t agree that we should only talk to them in urdu for the simple reason that when they do get to school, they feel completely alienated and have to struggle to learn English and fit in.

I know 3 families here going through this situation where they are experts in speaking urdu/punjabi but at age 5, in kindergarten, they are totally depressed and hate going to school because they are unable to participate in the activities. Of course the teachers are very patient and understand that they need help and time to catch up but shouldn’t we parents accept the fact that we are going to be living here and should be more relaxed about this language issue which seems to be more of an ego problem?

This uncle ji commented that my daughters don’t speak good urdu and was criticizing our parenting…while his daughter who is 16 now, a high school student here, can barely do an assignment properly because her dad insists she must only speak and read urdu otherwise she will forget her roots.

Balance?

I really do not believe that speaking to a child in a language that is other than English would contribute in him/her being incompetent at school. I mean, come on, you spent 13-14 years in school where everyone speaks in English, you STUDIED the language, you watched cartoons and other TV programs in English, you must have used English language when you were out dealing with people who are not family and you still didn’t learn the language. How is that ever possible? Speaking a language and writing formal write-ups in that language are two different things. There are so very many people in Pakistan who can speak Urdu or their regional language but they can’t read or write.

My parents always spoke to me and my siblings in Urdu. Other than speaking the language, we can read and write it too and I must say that I love the language. It has got certain sweetness and grace to it without having a feeling of snootiness which English may have sometimes ( this is my own opinion entirely). I do see people in family and friends who speak to their kids entirely in English and, sometimes, even when parents can barely speak English themselves and each time I see this happening, I can barely control rolling my eyes.