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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take One
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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take Two
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding
a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machine. They had tried everything and
everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the complicated machine. At the end of the day, marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, “That’s where your problem is”. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for
his services. They demanded an itemised accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark - $ 1.00
Knowing where to put it - $49,999.00
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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with it?”
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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It had to be a mechanical engineer-just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it had to be an electrical engineer, the nervous system is just a marvel of millions of electrical connections.”
The third said,“Actually, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline right through a recreational area?”
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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take Six
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, “I like both, actually.” “Both?!” The architect
and artist asked in great surprise. “Yeah,” the engineer replied. “If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume that you were spending your time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
work done.”
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COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS - Take Seven
A Pastor, a Doctor, and an Engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The Engineer fumed,
“What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting here for at least 15 minutes!”
The Doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I have never seen such ineptitude!”
The Pastor saw the greens keeper approaching and asked, “Say,what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,so we always let them play for free, anytime.” The three professionals were silent for a moment.
The Pastor then said,“That’s so tragic. I will say a special prayer for them tonight.” “Good idea,” the Doctor added, “I’ll contact
my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The Engineer said, “So why can’t these guys play at night?”
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