Relying on my guppy girls once again for help, we’re having a small engagement n nothing fancy but since its the first in our family I need to know is it usually lunch or dinner?
And what do you give the guy/guy’s family besides the ring…any essentials? It cud be anything that comes to mind. I need all the help I can get ..
Re: Engagement help..
hi gina,
you could have a dinner. basically it depends upon how convenient it is for the 2 families.
u give the guy a suit and a ring and for the boys family you give the close ones nice unstitched suits.
other than that u have to give them the mitai boxes (small ones).
i hope this is helpful for u...
Re: Engagement help..
I think it doesn't matter whether it's a lunch or dinner. Ours was a dinner, but there's no official rule. We gave him the outfit he wore as well as the ring. They did the same for me, as well as some bracelets.
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Ours was very very small - his family and my family. We arranged a lil tea party with a huge choc cake, lil nibbly bits and pieces. We didnt give anything to the grooms family - he just bought a ring for me. Although we did give alot for the wedding to the whole family - jewellery and unstitched kaprey! I guess it depends on how big or small the family want the occasion to be and what type of customs they have...
Re: Engagement help..
Gina lunch or dinner, depends on you guys' convenience. As for gifts, taht should also depend on what is the norm in your family. At my nikah (i didnt have an engagement, just straight nikah), my hubs brought me a ring, 2 dresses, matching shoes, choorian etc. And to him, my parents gave a ring, a couple of dress shirts plus pants, a sweater etc. My siblings also had a gift for him.
Good luck to you!!! you must be so excited. When is the engagment?
Edit: i thought i should mention this. We had the nikah in our little living room at home with close friends and fmaily but i totally dressed up and got my hair and makeup done. It didnt matter to me that it was a small function and i wanted to enjoy it to the fullest.
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My engagement was also a small affair at my mum's house. There wasn't really a groom/bride side - as his sister is married into my family so they all came. Was about 50ish people.
We had the civil registry in the morning ( at the masjid) then, back to the house for ring ceremony and moh mitha. My mum gave hubby a suit which he wore that day, a watch and a ring. We gave his sister who is here a suit and ring, and sent unstitched kapreh for family members overseas.
Our extended family also gave him pressies and his family sent pressies for me and my family.
Big lunch out in the garden and then cake cutting ceremony.
Most people went home, but some close family including hubby stayed over that night so we had a family meal in the evening.
All captured on video and camera
Re: Engagement help..
Our engagement was quick and small, they gave me a ring and two suits, and my parents gave him a ring. both of us got cash gifts from each others’ families. then we had dinner at their place.
The next day we all had a big lunch at a restaurant, and then we left cz (well we dditn know then) but my BIL was getting engaged that day too… 
The day after that, we had another big lunch at another restaurant..(one lunch was hosted by them and one by us, i forget which though)…rest of the day we were doing sightseeing and then later that night they came to our place and we did some rasams, mainly, they put a red duputta on my head and fed me mithai (dont worry he got some too. and he gave me some gifts personally. 
This wont help u one bit but i felt like sharing 
Re: Engagement help..
it doesn't really matter, gina... lunches can be nice if its spring or summer and you want to do something in someone's backyard with a nice tent up, maybe, or a yummy bbq.
ours was a dinner at his parents house, they had middle eastern food catered to pay homage to my growing up in dubai. like ira, i did get my hair and makeup done because its a special occasion and cos i wanted to :p and we had about 40 people show up- our closest family and best friends. my parents bought me my lehenga as a pressie. we exchanged rings, my mom put on a matching set of watches they had gotten us on both our wrists (mostly for the photo op haha), and then people fed us mithai. we also got gifts from everyone, mostly cash. as for giving, his parents gave mine this lovely crystal whatsit and mine gave his mom gold earrings and his dad a posh sweater.
honestly, it can be what you want, when you want, and how you want it. its a nice occasion to celebrate and it can be as formal or laidback as you feel.
i've also seen bigger engagements in halls with 200 people and they do the whole stage thing and the almost-dressed-as-a-bride thing.
Re: Engagement help..
sigh
I’m so envious!! Mine is going to be a direct wedding 
Re: Engagement help..
Hey Gina!
First of all many congrats girl!:). Now on to the questions...
Well mostly the engagements and weddings are done at nite time unless its a wedding where there are guests coming from other cities. Also, it depends on you what you prefere :). As for the stuff given to the guy's families...usually from what i have seen clothes are given to all of his immediate family i.e parents, grandparents, siblings. Some people even give clothes to the extended family like phupos, tayas, mamo's....but i don't think its necessary and infact it shouldnt be promoted because than it becomes the norm and poor people have trouble fulfilling such requirements :(. Anywayz, so yah other than that something of gold is given to the mother in law, probably a watch for the fil and if any bils...and again gold earings or like that for the sil....I would say it's too much but people do it so i am just telling you what i have seen. And it would be nice if these customs are changed:)
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my engagement was last summer...we arranged a small lunch party for 40 ppl in our living room! my sister decorated the curtains with fresh flowers nd da sofa for me nd my fiance with sum other decoration bits nd party stuff.( i will see if i can find sum photo for u..as da decoration was quite simple but still looked nice)....mum cooked abt 10 different dishes ...
i nly gt my hair done from a professional hair stylist...when dey came to our house dey gave me a kam wala suit together with a gold set nd matching accessories...i got dressed up nd dey had deir lunch in da menwhile...
den my mum took me to living room...nd we exchanged rings ..nd took lots of photos ....
we gave suits to his sisters nd mum..nd perfumes to his brother nd dad!
if dey r cuming from a different city or place den its always a gud idea to serve da lunch before da actual ceremony
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I dont think that you need to give suits and stuff to the entire family. For engagement I think suit and watch for the guy is reasonable - the family can get their suits for nikkah/wedding - but then again it depends totally on your traditions and how things are done in ur family.
For my brothers nikkah, he didnt have an engagement, my mum gave my bhabhi the dress she wore plus gold jewellery, plus a diamond ring (more like from my bro hehe) and abt 15 stiched and unstriched suits, makeup, perfumes and bags and suits for her family (sisters, brother and parents)..
Ps. the ceremony was held during lunch in the girls garden in Pak ..
Re: Engagement help..
theres no rule on an engagement. u can give his family presents... and him like a suit and some clothes and perfumes or something llike that. it depends on u guys too. its just presents for each other and like mitai tooo
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Well his family is coming down from Khi on the 27th Inshallah and my mom's eye-surgery is on the 26th so I have to do everything. I've got my saffron/mango dress with dull-gold antique work (my family had it made) he lives abt an hour away (Abu Dhabi)
It's just him and his family and I think 2-3 close male friends..so we'll have about 20 people. Can't deny being exicited lol but my mom goes for dialysis 3 times a week and juggling between hospitals n finding a ring for him n arranging food n all it's plain hard. Do pray for my mother..and thanx for all the help =)
Re: Engagement help..
Well his family is coming down from Khi on the 27th Inshallah and my mom's eye-surgery is on the 26th so I have to do everything. I've got my saffron/mango dress with dull-gold antique work (my family had it made) he lives abt an hour away (Abu Dhabi)
It's just him and his family and I think 2-3 close male friends..so we'll have about 20 people. Can't deny being exicited lol but my mom goes for dialysis 3 times a week and juggling between hospitals n finding a ring for him n arranging food n all it's plain hard. Do pray for my mother..and thanx for all the help =)
I hope inshallah everything goes ok and pray that your mum feels get better soon inshallah - word of advise - if i was you, i would just try and relax and enjoy the day - regarding the food, if you have to do everything on your own then just order plenty of food from a restaurant rather than slaving away in the kitchen on your most special day.
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Gina, you must be sooooo excited :D I hope your mom feels better soon. Like sunset said, try to relax and if possible, have some friends help out if you have any you can trust with some part of the ceremony like food, decorations etc. Amidst all the work and stress, dont forget to enjoy the beautiful moments. Share pics if you can later on, your dress sounds gorgeous!
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Do pray for my mother..and thanx for all the help =)
Inshallah i will pray for her....she will be fine, Amen! You are most welcome :).
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gina, good luck, lady! iA everything will go smoothly and your mom will feel better. like the other girls said, remember to enjoy the day and congratulations again! :)
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congrats! Well my engagement was a day to remember i didnt even kno bout it until i got home from work, they thought they would surprise me i dnt like them sort of surprises but im really happy. Jus enjoy urself regardless wat happens its ur day :)
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Relaxing is soOo difficult with trips to the hospital! Well I've pushed the date back a bit..and gotten to lady's from pakistan that shud be down here soon Inshallah..thanx for ALL the help and prayers..Ami needs all of them =)