My BIL’s engagement is approaching and I wanted to know what type of gifts do we give the girl and her family? I know that giving a suit/jewelry to the girl is expected. But what about the MIL/FIL and the girl’s siblings?
thanks!
Re: Engagement Gifts
I wish we didn't have the pressure to go to such lengths (as to giving a gift to everyone). Imagine how hard it would be for those who truly can't afford it. I know that there's a hadith where the Prophet SAWS encouraged the giving of gifts as it fosters affection between people. But when I think of how far people in our culture go (buying of gold for the in-laws, etc) and then I read the numerous stories about toxic in-laws....the irony is funny ....in a rueful sort of a way.
Re: Engagement Gifts
I agree with you RedVelvet. If I had things my way then I would focus primarily on getting something for the girl instead of the whole family. Perhaps I can try to persuade the elders in the family to keep things simple.
Re: Engagement Gifts
^I wasn’t directing my post toward you, Affy. 
It was just a general post.
Suits? Shirts for the guys? Cologne/perfume? Winter is approaching so perhaps sweaters?
Re: Engagement Gifts
Tradition dictates suits for all, wrapped nicely in baskets. Perhaps the addition of bangles with the girls' suits. And mithai or fruit baskets to take to the house. Bus
Re: Engagement Gifts
^^ omg i hate those ugly wrapped up baskets :( people should either give cash, gift vouchers or nothing at all....id rather get nothing than get something fugly!!
Re: Engagement Gifts
-Suits or un-stitched cloths for the MIL and SIL (we gave small clutches as well). Shirts and ties for the FIL and BIL
-Mithai and dried fruit baskets to take home
Even this is over-board for me -- if it were up to me, a small engagement dinner with a simple ring exchange would have been good enough for me. Tradition begs for more :S
Re: Engagement Gifts
Thank you all for your suggestions! I would prefer to keep things simple as well. My engagement was a very simple affair with very close family friends. My parents and siblings didn't get any extravagant gifts but they weren't demanding either. My BIL's In-laws are the reverse and hence the suggestions for gifts. And dont worry red velvet - I know that your comment was more of a generalization and it was not directed at me personally.
Re: Engagement Gifts
Hello ladies! I am having my formal engagement function shortly! I wanted an intimate event at home without any formality, but because we have a small condo and want to invite more family and friends, I think we will go with a restaurant or something.
Soooo...my fiance's mother recently came back from Pakistan and she did all the shopping for the mangni there, in terms of getting suits for me and my mom, etc. We haven't done any shopping yet because we weren't sure if/when the engagement would be happening. But it seems like it might be arranged to be done a few short weeks from now, and I don't know how we are going to shop for gifts for his family! My mom is terrible with these rasams and gift-giving things!
I like the option of getting the women unstitched suits, but getting that here in Canada is really difficult, in terms of finding nice stuff for a reasonable price! Also, my fiance has a very big family...3 brothers, 3 sisters, 3 BILs, 7 nieces and nephews, plus his parents. I don't know where to begin figuring out gifts! On one hand, I think it's really hard to get that many quality gifts, but then again since I know his family is getting gifts for the members of my (small) family, I would feel bad giving some of his family members gifts and not others.
What to do??? Get gifts for everyone? And what can I substitute in place of unstitched suits for the ladies since it's so hard to find reasonable stuff around here?
Your help is sooooooooooo greatly appreciated :)
Re: Engagement Gifts
Andddd do the gifts have to be wrapped such that they are open in display for everyone to see? I personally don't really like the flashy showing-off of gifts. Would it be weird to still have it nicely wrapped but covered up so that they can just open it when they get home and then see what the gift is?
Re: Engagement Gifts
There are nice ways to wrap up baskets.
Re: Engagement Gifts
You can make gift bags for each lady with random makeup and accessories!
Hello ladies! I am having my formal engagement function shortly! I wanted an intimate event at home without any formality, but because we have a small condo and want to invite more family and friends, I think we will go with a restaurant or something.
Soooo...my fiance's mother recently came back from Pakistan and she did all the shopping for the mangni there, in terms of getting suits for me and my mom, etc. We haven't done any shopping yet because we weren't sure if/when the engagement would be happening. But it seems like it might be arranged to be done a few short weeks from now, and I don't know how we are going to shop for gifts for his family! My mom is terrible with these rasams and gift-giving things!
I like the option of getting the women unstitched suits, but getting that here in Canada is really difficult, in terms of finding nice stuff for a reasonable price! Also, my fiance has a very big family...3 brothers, 3 sisters, 3 BILs, 7 nieces and nephews, plus his parents. I don't know where to begin figuring out gifts! On one hand, I think it's really hard to get that many quality gifts, but then again since I know his family is getting gifts for the members of my (small) family, I would feel bad giving some of his family members gifts and not others.
What to do??? Get gifts for everyone? And what can I substitute in place of unstitched suits for the ladies since it's so hard to find reasonable stuff around here?
Your help is sooooooooooo greatly appreciated :)