What factors should we cogitate to factor in to achieve this, otherwise, unachievable phenomenon. Does the level of happiness varies among the people belonging to different cultures, has it anything to do with the personality trait. Can money make us happier, is pleasure a pavement to it, or gratification a pathway?. Can we seek it under the marquee of FAITH, or we may find it in the dark clouds of agnosticism. Do we really need it to begin with?
Please share.
Re: Enduring Happiness
What factors should we cogitate to factor in to achieve this, otherwise, unachievable phenomenon. Does the level of happiness varies among the people belonging to different cultures, has it anything to do with the personality trait. Can money make us happier, is pleasure a pavement to it, or gratification a pathway?. Can we seek it under the marquee of FAITH, or we may find it in the dark clouds of agnosticism. Do we really need it to begin with? Please share.
I don't believe so.
unless you are put into extreme circumstances, it has every thing to do with your personality and how you respond to things. (Taqwa goes a long way)
You have your ground work done about life/ideology now you will put it to test over the years.
You have to be real strong to see/face/enjoy the out comes of path less traveled.
God bless you.
Re: Enduring Happiness
^so you don't believe that culture can play an important role in Subjective well being of individuals. Human personality has two aspects, one is congenital, another one is brought up, what building block of personality you consider culpable for happiness.
Re: Enduring Happiness
v. nice discussion topic, Intelliphant.
Happiness is to be achieved, yes, but it is not as if it is out of reach. Many a times, in life through meanness of other people or a person’s own limited insight, it is prevented from being achieved. And people weep over the loss of happiness but don’t try to find solid ways to get happiness back. Happiness may vary depending on cultural differences, but from theory of universal emotions, almost all cultures have happiness for a birth of a healthy child and a grave sadness is shared, over premature loss of one through poverty or disease or unjust hurt caused to the child.
Happiness hugely has to do with personal trait of being content within oneself. Someone comfortable in own skin can have realizable happiness to the fullest, in earthly life, by doing the actions that will only be the right ones, and wont violate the right to existence of other life forms. anything or anyone else that creates a hurdle in achieving happiness and sustaining it, has to be looked at from the point of view of what is fair and just.
Happiness through good events and objects does not have to be pretended as if it is not there. People who constantly are suspicious of happiness coming their way (that could very well be theirs to have), miss out on happiness terribly.
Enduring happiness would mean happiness found in or naturally besought in and through anything that one does. One may have the perfect idea of how to be able to do things that can enable one to feel happy, without hurting anyone else, or anything else. Yet, the interactive nature of humanity is going to bring out the unhappiness-creating aspects of others' behaviors, which unfortunately does trickle down to the good person's efforts to create happiness, instead.
The fight is constant and the motives are a range of unfair ploys having basis in jealousy, spite and ignorance to actual and endless greed, meanness, paranoia and deceit to name a few vices at work against happiness. Whether a person is able to still create and maintain happiness is that person's luck and end result of dedicated work. Following faith, hardly ever one is lost when faith is made to be a shield, but the trick is that the belief in faith is real and truthful, not a pouch of rotten hypocrisies and yet have the gutlessness to claim being a fervent believer.
Given that faith has its place in the life of a human being born to any religion, where life and death, heaven/hell, Almighty God/human being as God’s creation, living vices/virtues, and other such dualities are agreed on, still, there is so much that needs to be explored by the human being him/herself in this world and to possibly have an idea of the next.
But no, faith alone is not enough. Faith must be seen as active and part of the living of one’s life. So if a person’s faith teaches honesty, then that person, who wants to be a content person, must act honestly and do so genuinely.
Money or resources can never ever buy any happiness. Material comfort, yes, but not comfort that comes from an understanding family member/s, which is why the emphasis in psychotherapy is always how one can take back control of effectively making human relations better around oneself.
This is not for simply the person, but also for the better living of those who have been a cause of that therapy, in the life of the person who was happy and has every reason to deserve happiness, but someone unhappy comes along and mars that happiness for whatever reason due to own past experiences and current limited reasoning and non-ethics of relation-building.
Many a time, people don’t see that there is a need to be truthful to at least own self. Admitting one’s own mistakes must be the most relieving of all kinds of burdens to obtain that particular happiness that a person ought to. But, not everybody is capable of that, because there are no signs of that, that a guilty person is ale to follow the path of redemption from the guilt.
It’s a life long process. Its foundations may be best laid when one is growing up, and a personality is forming, and people whoa re one’s family and first teachers or neighbors begin to recognize a child as a happy child, a happy go lucky child. That child grows up to be a responsible and competitive adult with likes and dislikes, value system and ethics that will enable him/her to be positively influencing the social environment in which they exist, and then through education and professional life, that individual begins to create a social change and evokes happiness through own actions, privately and publicly and personally, as by that time that person’s credibility is ideally established as well. and hopefully, one can leave a legacy of how to live happily when one is gone from this earth.
To take it further: a content mindfully-proactive-ethically-dealing individual - thus a happy person, touches the life of many people, even unhappy and selfish people with a lesson of plain happiness and how to not waste it when accorded and always respect it!
Happiness is absolutely necessary to life, at least for a happy life, definitely. Now, how does one get own happiness and how is it procured, and once one has it, what one does with it, is what will really be telling of the quality of happiness that one has and how mindful one has been in obtaining that personal happiness. For instance, some people find happiness in being fair and disciplined, moderate and considerate of others; others find happiness in being unfair and undisciplined, or being mean or greedy. Their outcomes are that much different from each others’, too. Isolation and happiness are not synergistic, as human life is not isolationist. Thus, happiness and its achievability as well as sustainability is based on a) inner honesty to rightfully obtain happiness and b) how effectively, rightfully does one finds solid meaning in creating enduring happiness for others and for own self.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Enduring Happiness
^ Thank you very much for such an insightful detail of your perspective, I will most certainly come back to discuss it further. your views are very genuine.
Re: Enduring Happiness
hapiness is felt.
Anything that is felt by a subject is subjective
Judgement of any subject is relative to her own mental norms.
However those norms are volatile, and environemtly depending.
To extract oneself from this volatility we have to set a fixed referential, that is relative to onself: ie.To best assess hapiness, one has to ponder it against "unhapiness"
So the highest hapiness can hardly be felt by those who've never dealt with high unhapiness.
As Dushwari nicely explained some events triggers hapiness, other unhapiness, among people of diverse cultural background.
The most "happy" people, are also the most impacted by sorrows, grieveing,etc...
If money can't buy hapiness, it may be because wealthy people live less hardhship in life, so they can not "judge" hapiness...they are unable to enjoy life, cause they have not suffered previously.
I am also believeing one has to know how to risk deep unhapiness to discover real hapiness: if you don't take the risk to love deeply (which could cause hard heartache), then you' ll never get hapiness associated to deep human bonding.
So protecting oneself against unhapiness, may actually keep hapiness far from you..
Maybe? just a thought...
Re: Enduring Happiness
Dushwari,
There is no barometer that can measure the level of happiness; however each person reflects level of happiness by his/her behavior towards the society. Generally happier people are more extrovert, more socializing, enthusiastic and positive in their assessment towards events. A person with positive emotions is capable to extract something positive even from a very negative outcome. Overall happiness is not a thing that we can attribute to one aspect of personality or one component within the environment in which we live.
One thing must be understood that happiness is not the measure of momentary bursts of pleasant feelings in our daily life, momentary happiness can easily be increased by any number of small uplifts like a new dress, a chocolate, a comedy show, or even rub on a itching back. Enduring happiness has a very little to do with these momentary bursts pleasures. There are a few factors that play a vital role in the dynamics of level of happiness in our lives. One of them is **set range. **Unfortunately happiness is one of the personality traits that have a lot to do with the inheritance. One proof of happiness being one of the personality trait that we inherit is to study the lives of people who lead a very similar life under very similar environment. Take an example of monks or nuns, these groups of people have very similar routine lives, their food, their social activities, yet researches have shown that their level of subjective well being(SWB), their health, their habits varies from person to person, however good news is that the personality trait that can uplift our happiness is changeable. It is generally believed that people who are very extrovert, socializing, lead a happier life, it is also believed that how social are you is dictated by the genes you carry. Socialization is one among many measures of happiness, and this factor is genetic, if a person is not ready to change this negative behavior is likely to live less happy life than another person under same circumstances with better sense of socialization.
Another barrier to our level of happiness is **Hedonic Treadmill, **we all live on treadmill, and constantly strives to reach at the next milestone of our lives without enjoying the milestone that we have already achieved. With every success our level of expectation rises and we quickly adapt the happy events in life. An accomplishment that we worked so hard to achieve is quickly taken as for granted, and we start to think of an achievement better than the previous one. We don’t stop at any junction of our success, with a view to find a better one. This treadmill plays a balancing role in our lives, if that were not the case people with more achievements in lives would have been much happier than other les fortunate people. Hedonic treadmill is a direct measure of our adaptation, however there is always limit of adaptation and it is seen that people adapt quickly to “good events” than “bad events”. For example death of a child in the family is never adapted, and always remains as a negative emotion , though it loses strength with time. On the other hand getting a new car or getting good grades is quickly adapted. Our set range and hedonic treadmill are two factors that play in attaining enduring happiness in our lives.
Next factor that can play a role in attaining high/low level of happiness is **circumstances, **circumstancesis not one thing but a plethora of things like money, marriage, education, children, health, social life , gender , negative emotions, and many more.
Since I had mentioned money as one of the factors in accessing happiness, I am compelled to say a few words about it, though I am not saying anything different that has already been said by you. There have been many academic searches about the average subjective level of happiness among the people of richest nations and the poorest nations. Cross national comparisons are difficult to disentangle because richest nations have better resources to provide to their people, better education imparts better understanding and better wisdom, better health care generally improves better sense of subjective health. However comparison among the richest and poorest people among the same nation help to arrive at a better understanding of the dynamics of happiness within one culture. In most affluent societies where every one is blessed with better opportunities, good education system, and almost same liberty, money plays a very insignificant role in the average level of happiness. In one particular research student of Calcuta university were compared with a poorest neighbor hood of same city, results were sticking because average level of happiness among the student was slightly higher in the domain of money making , but the poor people were happier in the domain of morality, food, friends. If I sum up the importance of money as a reflection of happy life, I would say it is important up to a certain level of livelihood, once this level is achieved, money doesn’t make us any happier.
Negative emotions can not be left unmentioned in my pursue to explain the dynamics of happiness, I agree to some degree with parisseynoor , when she says the highest happiness can not be felt with out feeling unhappiness, however I must say that the relationship between negative emotions and positive emotion is neither so hard lined, nor so reciprocal. To feel strong happiness one doesn’t have to have the experience of disgust or a very unhappy event. A negative emotion can help us to appreciate the existence of positive emotion but the span of the this positive emotion is still momentary and does not contribute much to increase the general happiness level. It has also been observed that a lot of negative emotions do have a small impact on the level of happiness, but again a perpetual negative emotion does not rip the ability to enjoy the positive emotion, how so ever ephemeral it may be. The phenomenon of feeling happiness after an unhappiness event has a history in old Greek mythology as two words phobia and soteria.
Health is generally considered as one of the most exigent factor in assessing the happiness level but the fact of the matter is that objective health plays almost no role in the level of happiness; it is perception of subjective health that matters. However the ability to adopt to adversity can vary from person to person, but sooner or later every person who is sick for a long time has to adjust to the sickness to gain the same level of set standard of happiness. When sickness is terminal and long lasting the level of happiness, obviously, declines, but not nearly as much as one would expect..
Most of the things you have mentioned under ethics fall under FAITH , it is seen that people with strong faith are relatively happier. Most of the religion proscribes drugs, crime, and infidelity. On the other hand almost every faithful is believed to have faith in charity, hard work and deeds that can alleviate depression and anxiety. Religion even in its most basic from can work as an anodyne against sadness, fear, and generally negative emotions. Religion imparts a very strong hope in future that works as cornerstone to give an individual the strength to fight against despair and increase the overall level of happiness.
Re: Enduring Happiness
Intelliphant,
thanks for the elaborate exchange of ideas.
so its very combinatorial. in psychology, it is gestalt - the parts are greater than the whole. you're right that the genes and the environment have their own parts to play in the outcome of happiness in a person's life.
beyond the self and its happiness, what is necessary to investigate is: that once the person has taken care of own self, genes or environment, then, how does that person's behavior (not attributes or tendencies) but actual behaviors trickle their positive or negative effects on the life around that person. and that to me, is the source of happiness.
because, if one is tied to only own happiness, then it beats the purpose of being social!
the balance is in the balance not over emphasis or undue emphasis on either or any one singular aspect of life, but from time to time, every one might be falling prey to this, knowingly or unknowingly.
faith cannot be without ethics. otherwise, it is too mechanical and not suitable for the humane life, that ideally each human ought to follow.
healthy living is indeed the best wealth in the world.
it has to be complete over all health - mind, spirit, body, living and work space, and interaction with others. which is why hygiene and haqooq-al-ibaad are described as essential components to living out the faith.
hedonism is not healthy, not at all. no one in any affluent state, can feel content, when the only means is luxury. level of happiness being affected by circumstances is probable yet, who is responsible of circumstance? thus, the broader social context of happiness cannot be ignored. things trickle from one person's actions to the rest of the family, community, nation, and the whole world.
each life has a right to live before being held responsible for the actions that each life will take to survive, let's just say, in the world as we know it with its good and its bad in it... either by hook or by crook.
yet, the premise of social justice will have us make it a point to avail decent, simple, harmless, non-conniving, honest and hard working person of any age, both genders, whatever their educational and social or economic condition might be, to be accorded the right to happiness.
how the whole society let that be in each person's life, how each individual shapes her/his own family and work life, depends on their own position and how they explore or operate on their environment, being instrumental, ideally as able bodied, thinking and feeling human beings.
so, beyond a certain lee way due to external factors, no one is entitled to happiness, just because that person is better off financially through illicit means.
each to own, is a better measure, in my opinion.
when people reflect on their actions, they get to know themselves better.
whereas when people hide away their flaws, in rotten justifications, they dig themselves deeper into the pit of unhappiness.
given that, for instance, unraveling is a very nice thing to do. while picking at oneself or another without any solid reasoning, is not. after the fact, hind sight can at least enable a right minded individual to evaluate own inefficiencies and even mishandling of important things in life such as someone's feelings, trust, confidence and so and so forth, be it parents, or a friend or spouse or child or grand child or anyone, even a stranger who is to be treated with kindness at first unless there is reason to be firm with that stranger due to some inappropriate action by the stranger.
age and experience, i would say, definitely has a huge bearing on a person's happiness. when someone is able to transfer own life lessons to others, and is familiar and trustworthy or credible, that causes immense happiness and contentment for being useful member of a societal establishment or as a work place or a family member.
happiness is driven from the person. it cannot be crafted.
ideally, it should be very natural. which is why the adage, that happiness cannot be bought. it is priceless and invaluable.
qualities of happy people as is observed and felt: happy people dont act dishonest. they are forthright. plain, and hard working. they are able to work as a team. they dont demean others nor do they allow anyone to demean them or others. they are dedicated learners. they have no negative surprises to shock people with. they dont hide their emotions nor motives. they are hopeful and they are patient. being independent and self sufficient, in regards with personal care without being chaperoned or served, is also a quality of a happy person. happy people are self respecting and respect others' as independent autonomous beings. they dont claim others as their objects. thus, a happy person wont like to enslave other people, wont be arrogant, insensitive, trivial and cheap. happy people cannot hurt others unduly. i.e., unless there is something that someone did, which enables them to at least for the educative purpose, act practically and remind the selfish person of what that person has done.
life altering unfortunate events do create set back in the lives of previously hapy people, especially when that comes prematurely... but they do not become hopeless, nor do they call /blame others as their alibis. they do correct and call out on others when others are wrong. they are polite yet firm and do not disobey rules of ethical interaction with others so as not to have any guilt. happy people make their choices decisively and they own up to their consequences. they dont cause deliberate deceit or hurt to others, they prevent and avoid that from happening. happy people dont bear grudges. but they do believe in lessons and they dont leave an stone unturned in an effort to bring our the best in others or own self. they deal on the spot or leave it to the Almighty after they have done their best in improving a situation.
happy people are life constructive, not life destructive. they are caring and sensitive about life. their actions are noble and unmarked by ploys. they are not rigid, but they are principled in their deeds.
happy people are charitable. they are not takers. they give off of themselves as much as they can, to less well positioned people. they think of others before they think of themselves and they believe in legacies of examplary noble actions, thoughts and they honor their words, and never renege.
they are pure in their regard for whom they give it to.
when they are at fault they admit that and aim to rectify what they have caused wrong to somebody or something. they are problem solvers, they dont sit around and procrastinate. they try again and again. and they are never liars. happy people are clear-conscience and clean. they dont have baggage that they lug around to use to their advantage to sneak out of situations. yes, if they cannot help, they would say so, but they dont make up fluff.
they dont mistreat others by taking them for deposit of their own insecurities. they dont project their own flaws onto other people. they recognize good in others more than bad. and are always open to repair upon realization...most important of all, happy people have strong personal integrity of own good characteristic traits & happy people are afraid of only Almighty.
i would reflect on this as more of a satiety vs. non satiety of human motivations. a greater topic to discuss in detail sometime else where.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Enduring Happiness
Dushwari,
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Thank you, like I said before your point of view is very genuine, not a reflection of the impression that may have out of psychology books. Focus of your reply is on the society, considering an individual as an entity that can create a healthy society.
We had discussed similar idea in a different thread, the subjective well being of a person is a measure of person’s own perspective about his/her satisfaction, it doesn’t directly entails the agglomerated effect of person’s behavior towards the environment , not to mention that the environment also encircles people who we live and socialize with. I definitely agree with you that an individual can not attain an enduring happiness unless his behavior is not suggesting happiness towards the society, and each individual in the society is not reciprocating in the same manner.
Faith is nothing but collection of “must practice” ethics, every religion, and every faith profess for the betterment of society, the recipe of a healthy society lies in the moral health of an individual. An individual’s behavior has a positive ripple effect; it works like a boomerang always brings the happiness back. Problem starts when people start picking what apparently is beneficial to them without realizing the impact of their actions on the society, and in the longer run on their own selves. Like good deeds, a bad deed is more suggestive, a momentary benefit is conspicuous enough to attract many like minded, thus creates quagmire of self interest.
While I share your thoughts on hedonism, it is not without good sides. The curiosity of human is what has brought us in space and cyber age, had we not been invested with the urge to gain more, we probably would have never come out of Stone Age. Said that I must confess hedonism has turned out to be one of the biggest reason for metal torture for individuals, the urge and mercurial nature doesn’t let us enjoy and be satisfied with what we have, however faith comes to rescue us here again.
Indeed, happiness is not a self contained prodigy, a happy person reflects his positive emotion towards all who he lives with, a laughter brings about a laughter, although a momentary pleasure dos not bring an enduring happy life, but a contribution even so minute paves a way for more focused efforts to bring about a change that changes the collective appreciation of the very myth of happiness.
Re: Enduring Happiness
thanks, Intelliphant.
best,
Dushwari