Emotionally stunted

[diwana]

Re: Emotionally stunted

@partyslims

I had a long converstation with a good friend today. We were discussing how there are people who have a hard time expressing emotions, especially in our cullture. I was telling him about my Dad and how stoic he was. It was the way he was raised, and losing his own father at a young age and being pushed into the real world as a teenager. He started working at an early age. When I was growing up, he was never one to hug or express too many emotions (though he did love to laugh and make jokes). But as he grew older he became a bit softer, especially after he had once fallen and fractured his hip. It took him a long time to recover, but being dependant on others was not easy for him. In that time something in him changed and he became much more affectionate. I was in the States when it happened and went back for about a month to be with him through his operation and initial recovery. When I was leaving to come back, he hugged me and started to cry. It was the first time he cried like that when I was leaving.

Anyway, I digress, but my friend and I were discussing how showing emotions (especially for men) is almost a stigma in the desi community. Men are supposed to surpress their emotions and if one shows them, it is almost perceived as a sign of weakness. I used to be somewhat like my Dad too, but around the age of 17 I changed. I had no problems expressing my thoughts or feelings and being open with them with the right person. I was also talking to my friend about a girl I know who is like that (so not just talking about guys, but it’s usually us) but that’s a whole other story for another time.

But do people still think of showing emotions (especially for men) to be a sign of weakness, or do you feel it’s a non issue these days?

One cannot say this as a rule that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
**
Controlling emotions is the sign of strength.**

There is time when emotions need to be shown and there are times when they need to be suppressed or reduced.

It also depends on the type of emotions.

When and which type of emotion needs to be expressed is a learned art.