Reading a few threads here it seems that many people here are very emotionally dependent and give a very unhealthy importance to what people say. Especially there seems to be a very unhealthy attachment to parents. Cant a husband and wife have a strong enough relationship where it doesn’t matter what anyone else feels or thinks about you. Why would you let what a cousin, brother or sister said fester in your head for a very long time. Would you raise your kids to be emotionally and psychologically dependent on you.
Re: Emotional Independence…
On a serious note, these are the husbands who always take EXTRA notice of what did their MOTHER And SISTER say.
Re: Emotional Independence…
We are a patriarchal society so for most parts rules of engagement are formulated by males. I feel males get equally influenced by what family, friends and what others might think about them. I was disowned by my family and a few years back stopped socializing with a group of people and it has been the most energizing and liberating experience of my life where we make most decisions based on what is the most important for the well being of our immediate family. All of a sudden a brand new luxury car or big house and fancy furniture is not that important.
As Socrates put it, “All you need in life is one person to love and one to love you back.”
Thoughts?
Re: Emotional Independence…
I’m not certain that Socrates was suggesting that the “one person” has to be the same individual. LOL.
Re: Emotional Independence…
I better not have misunderstood the quote as I have been living my life with this principle for several years, we stopped socializing. We keep a distance from family also and don’t let them interfere with our life. It makes such a huge difference if you live life on your own terms. My SO is my best friend and we do a lot of things together.
Re: Emotional Independence…
I think that to live life one has to deal with the emotional highs and lows by themselves.
The fact that relying on your own immediate family to decide what you want you want to do is liberating and refreshing
Re: Emotional Independence…
Some of the mothers they don’t understand that every relation is important in its own way and they think only about themselves that only being a mother is important.
Re: Emotional Independence…
I am not sure if our culture has come to terms with unconditional love, it seems to be all about egos, control and power. Mothers will destroy the lives of the sons and their children for their power and control. My family wanted to abuse my wife even after we had children and I am thinking how can they want to destroy my children’s life especially after all the claims of unending love for me. We have cases of honor killings only because a girl wants to marry the man she loves.
I had to work very hard on my wife also for her to relinquish control and let my teenage children make their own decisions.