So what does everyone think of desi parents who emotionally blackmail their kids in order to make them accept a rishta they’ve arranged? For instance (a lot of the times to the girl) “we bought you up, gave you the freedom to study, fed you etc”, other times I heard personally 'we came to this country to give you a better life.
Personally I experienced this when I wanted to marry a husband of my choosing, they obviosuly didnt approve of him because he’s not pakistani but alhumdulilah after years of hardship they’ve finally come round. Even whilst growing up (when i was dating him without their knowledge) I had a feeling they would emotionally blackmail me, (older siblings were kind off coerced into marriages) i didn’t like taking things from them asking for money ect, for precisly this reason. It’s pretty sad really.
I will never do the same with my daughters inshallah.
Re: Emotional blackmail by parents when arranging marriages
I know exactly what you mean!!! I am having kind of the same situation right now...and they used to do this a lot, for everything...and frankly am quite fed up with it. But this time an not giving in...coz it will jst never end...sometimes I feel like it is my fault that i was born!!!
Re: Emotional blackmail by parents when arranging marriages
one thing i just dont understand if tehse parents came to thsi country for a better future why do they want to marry their daughters off to unparh family members from bak in pak!!!!
Re: Emotional blackmail by parents when arranging marriages
one thing i just dont understand if tehse parents came to thsi country for a better future why do they want to marry their daughters off to unparh family members from bak in pak!!!!
From what I've noticed a lot of migrants to places like UK were working class back in pakistan, the country and environment change but the thinking does not.
Re: Emotional blackmail by parents when arranging marriages
Being a parent who has children of marriage age, one is married one is single, I always told my children I will not interfere in their choice of marriage so long as their chosen partner is a muslim. I wouldn't want to get them into arranged marriage unless they ask me to find a partner for them.
Re: Emotional blackmail by parents when arranging marriages
I always told my children I will not interfere in their choice of marriage so long as their chosen partner is a muslim.
That is how it should be. As long as the possible spouse is a muslim, and overall a good person their shouldn't be much of a problem. Parents should be willing to give their kids their blessings.
Re: Emotional blackmail by parents when arranging marriages
I live in Pakistan and its been ages since i heard a girl say that her parents are forcing/ blackmailing her to get married to a certain person of their choice. I am in the phase when proposals come but my parents have never ever force/blackmailed me, it is my decision!! (I am just talking about arranged marriages here ) I guess its mainly the problem of people living abroad.. just my two cents.