In your relationships with your significant other, what would you consider emotional abuse?
How would you deal with it in terms of what you would take and what you wouldnt?
How far would you go till you say you have reached your limit and do something abt it.
Re: emotional abuse
Blackmail, repeated name-calling and insulting, deliberate efforts to break down self-esteem, picking on faults....
Re: emotional abuse
Emotional abuse can also be manipulation to make you feel guilty when you really don't need to feel bad .... it is hard to describe.
If the person is hurting cause of the actions of their partner, they should speak up ASAP and not let things slide cause they tend to get progressively worse with time, especially if you are keep it to yourself ... it builds and builds and builds which only causes further mental, physical and emotional pain.
Re: emotional abuse
How would you deal with it in terms of what you would take and what you wouldnt?
How far would you go till you say you have reached your limit and do something abt it.
abuse will go only as far as u want it to go. better to put ur foot down rite at the begning and let the other know u won't take it no matter what. and what exactly is there to take in any abuse let alone emptional? its unacceptable under all circumstances and should be dealt with seriously. letting it go for longer periods will only make u start to break down and you'd lose ur self-esteen and strength to resist.
Re: emotional abuse
'emotional abuse' is like the word love; everyone has takes it their own way.
Re: emotional abuse
being too over demanding, lying, suspicious, over bearing, angry, possesive..
if it happened i'd have it out with them and tell them it is pissing me off and to stop it. I wouldn't give into their demands either, i'd stand my ground.
Re: emotional abuse
agreed
Re: emotional abuse
I agree with Mehnaz, making u feel guilty when your not guilty of anything. If I saw my personality was changing for the worst, I was being lied to, degraded, belittled, I would think something was wrong with the relationship
Re: emotional abuse
Thank you for all your responses. I am interested in knowing how far people go in taking it from others. What is that you call your limit and say stop? Any experiences or stories to share?
AJ: What i want to know is guppies' personal opinions. What do you consider emotional abuse and how would you react to it?
Re: emotional abuse
being very possessive and making you feel guilty when you haven't done anything.. It's like an iceberg where you just see the top of everything but there is a lot more down there that is not visible like verbal abuse, financial abuse, and so on!!!
It's over once you personally realize that you just can't take it anymore..In my opinion it goes in a circle where you have your honey moon period when everything is bright and sunny and then there is a tension buildup where your sixth sense gives you "that" feeling and eventually there is an outburst where you get abused but then you get back to your bright and sunny days and the cycle continues but trust me it doesn't last for long and you reach your limit sooner or later where you want to get rid of of it no matter how much you wish to continue the relationship!
arghhh did I make any sense?!?!
Re: emotional abuse
Ira, I consider it emotional abuse when I allow someone else to deliberately exploit my emotional weaknesses. Yes, the important words in this definition are I and deliberate.
Re: emotional abuse
Ira
Everyone has a different threshold, and I know mines not that high. To me it would be unprovoked deliberate and repeated attempts to bring down my self esteem, knowing fully well how it would hurt me. It would be using my weaknesses to take digs at me, knowing that it'll be mentally debilitating. Aik dafa agar koi kuch kahay tou nazar-andaz kiya jaa sakta hai but when it becomes routine in one way or another, then you know somethings def. wrong.
One of my friends got married a few years ago, and right after marriage had to stay away from her husband for one semester while she finished up her studies. She went thru hell emotionally. He was a monster to say the least, and she took it like a doormat. I told her to just finish it and this wasn't worth it especially if he claimed to love her. What kind of love was this? Roz roz ka cheekhna chillana phone pe, telling her things that hurt her the most. It was so hard to console her sometimes, and he knew I was telling her to leave him and he disliked me very much for that. I think he told her numerous times to stop talking to me. Anyway, she lived thru it and is still married to him. According to her now, things are much smoother and she's happier Alhamdulilah. I don't know what the hell all that was then, maybe it was because they were in long distance relationship during that time, I really dont know. He's not some jahil ganwar, but is a graduate of a very prestigious institution but I dislike him for so many reasons. He was a dominating beast at that time, and I think still is to some extent. She has a very high threshold for such things, and I know if I was in her shoes, it would've finished very very long time ago.
Re: emotional abuse
not having a good communication with the spouse, and shutting them off completely emotionally. whats the fun there?
Re: emotional abuse
When it starts to affect you physically.
Re: emotional abuse
Isn’t it really too late by that point? I would imagine that a lot of severe emotional damage would have been done before a physical effect began to take place.
Re: emotional abuse
There will be only one type of abuse that i will take which is verbal. If it get physcial HE will be sorry then- I know how to torture.
verbal abuse ONCE - meaning one curse
Verbal abuse Twice -
-I start abusing verbally as well
Verbal Abuse third
- this may be the last time -i will deal with him
I have seen so many people who abuse their wives verbally. You have any idea how terrible their lives are. Emotional black mailing and you know people who abuse they dont even realize what type of marks they leave on their kids. This goes on towards hitting and then leads to other issues.
The key is to stop it right there and then.
Being a human being we like to have power over weak people. When you show someone you are strong they do stop.
Re: emotional abuse
NO ahmadjee
Emotional abuse is an emotional abuse simple is that. Men usually feel they can get away with it since they are physically stronger. Once they realize their wives are capable of doing so many other things. It can be stopped.