How importatn it is in the desi culture for elder sister to get married first?
any comment/experience?
My elder sister is not married. There has been one occasion though where I nearly got engaged before her ..... Anyway, it is hard as the younger sister to be getting proposals, etc.
In traditional desi families, it is a big deal. However, a few western desi families don't really mind if the eldest sister is still single. It all depends on the reasons, etc. :)
usually desis are narrow-minded enough to assume that when the elder sister isn' t married yet whereas the other is, that there must be something wrong with the elder one
There may be a good number of reasons that younger sis gets married before the elder one, elder one may be studying in some professional institution like medical college, which takes about 6 yrs to b finished.
I have one class fellow whose sisters were married in reverse chronological order, i mean it started from the youngest.
But in our society if there is no obvious reason then people do get suspicious that some thing may b wrong with the elder sister.
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*Originally posted by NeSCio: *
usually desis are narrow-minded enough to assume that when the elder sister isn' t married yet whereas the other is, that there must be something wrong with the elder one
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true.
i know at least 7 relatives' families where the younger daughter got married before the elder one..and it was never a big deal :-)
It used to be a big deal, and probably still is in some families. You see the problem is that in all families and circle of friends there are some people who love to talk... more like keeray nikalna wali type .. and some people are really afraid that others "batein banayein gay" that "what is wrong with elder daughter?" and "why is she not getting married first?" Or, worse "choti nay zaroor ishq wishq karr liya ho ga, tabhi shaadi jaldi karr rahein hein."
With changing times, attitudes are also changing, and as someone said, there can be a number of reasons why elder sisters chose not to get married. Either they didn't like anyone enough, busy in studies, making a career and what not.
If the parents are supportive and they won't really care about those who will criticize and bad-mouth (usually behind the back) about this thing, then they will go along with whoever gets married first.
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*Originally posted by Qrius: *
i know at least 7 relatives' families where the younger daughter got married before the elder one..and it was never a big deal :-)
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It's very good to read that your family is dealing with that issue in a positive way. Sadly the majority of Pakistani families isn't.
:k: nice to hear that! and i think this should be right way 
it is not a big issue atleast in my family, although v r proud desis :), even my younger sis got engaged recently and i m still in a queue list....:) per koi aisa issue nahee bana.
I cant narrate my personal experience as i dont hav any elder sis.. but i do kno quite a few families who married their younger daughter before elder one.. possibly becos of the non availablity of achay rishtay or anyother reasons they might hav... i think it is widely accepted these days anyway ...
what i was curious to kno that what if its the case when younger bro wants to get married before older sis? is this acceptable as well?
what if the elder sister doesnt want to get married?..
…its the same as…if a married girl doesnt like wearing heavy jewellery or if she doesnt like wearing jwellery at all…people presume something is wrong with her and that uski pusund ki shaadi nuhi thei and something is wrong there…
…this is just typical!..though i do agree keh if the older isnt married people think there is something wrong with her though this might not be the case…also i agree keh it is essential for the older one to get maried so the younger ones can get a chance too…
i think it should be…i mean what is the harm in this?..in Islam there are no restriction in keh who to marry first…and who shouldnt marry first…but in our society…a young gril getting married is better then if she stays home and goes above 25…
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Originally posted by Aleezay: *
I cant narrate my personal experience as i dont hav any elder sis..* but i do kno quite a few families who married their younger daughter before elder one.. possibly becos of the non availablity of achay rishtay or anyother reasons they might hav**... i think it is widely accepted these days anyway ...
what i was curious to kno that what if its the case when younger bro wants to get married before older sis? is this acceptable as well?
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Aleezay, u made an interesting point there.
Two of my male cousins in separate families got married earlier than their brothers.
yes leez, my own chacha got married before my phupho (who is elder than my chacha)..and it was fine :) Phupho got married after 6 years of chacha's wedding.
In my family everyone has got married in a chrnonological order, from my cousins to my sisters and now I'm next in line. But by the looks of it, I'll be breaking family trends and my nephews and nieces will end up getting married first!