Ek Ghazal

Jaawani kee , nadani kee , neshani baqi rahtee hai
Humhain kahnay ko bas yeahe Kahani baqi rahtee hai

Sitara’ay Akhiray Shaaab hoon or mayree kahani mein
Subah honay talaak kee bas , jawanii baqi rahtee hai

Jis hasil samjtay hain , Khabi zindagii ka hum , apni
Umaar baar yaad raknay ko , wooh nadani baqi rahtee hai

Kohi roota chor gar jahay , innhay sawan kay moosam mein
Un ankhon mein phir aaskhon ki rawani baqi rahtee hai

tayre yaad ke moojain. Hain dil’ay shaail say takrathe
In mein awalay ishq ki Abhi . Tug’yani baqi rahtee hai

Banay gay kaab hum , payrookar , islam kay saachay
Mein shia hoon , tu sunni hai . kahani baqi rahtee hai

Milatay haaath hain lakin . kahan par dil yea miltay hain
Humaray in diloon mein , baad.gumani baqi rahtee hai

Yeah tu do char batien thee , abhee say tahaak gahay hamdam
Abbhe kahnay , suna’nay ko , Kahaani baqi rahtee hai

(Aliyish)

Re: Ek Ghazal

bahut khoob.. I like the flow...

just a quick suggestion, in the following sher

tayre yaad ke moojain. Hain dil’ay shaail say takrathe
In mein awalay ishq ki Abhi . Tug’yani baqi rahtee hai

word 'dil-e-saahil' kee jagah agar 'saahil-e-dil' hotaa tau I think that would be better... because using such tarkeeb of Farsi Murrakkab... sahil-e-dil means dil kaa saahil and dil-e-saahil means saahil kaa dil .... what exactly did you wanna say?

Re: Ek Ghazal

Anwar Bahi , shair tu mujhay bee kuch jacha nahee taah , kyun kay wazan say bahar hogaya hai !

kuch aysa bee hosaktah hai kay

Tayree Yaad ki Mooojain , Haain dil kay saahil say takra.theen
Kay Aawalay Ishq ki , abhee in mein. Tugyaani baqi rahthee hai

btw according to your defination , chachaa kay shair ' aay dil.ay naadaan tujay howa kia hai ' walay mein Ghalib ka dil.ay naadaan ka matlab ' nadaan ka dil ' howa , mein tu aaj taak naadaan saa dil samj kay mehfooz hota ayah hoon !

Re: Ek Ghazal

^
lafzi tarjumaa yehi hotaa hai "nadaan kaa dil" laikin nadaan dil is how it is always understood.

Re: Ek Ghazal

:smack: Kis ny kaha lafzi tarjuma nadan ka dil, :aq: Mazakan kar rahy ho na, Bary mazakia ho ji:D

Re: Ek Ghazal

farsi tarkeeb kaY hisaab saY yehi hotaa hai… ghalat-ul-aam maiN urdu maiN aa kar dil-e-naadan, naadaan dil bun gaya hai…

Re: Ek Ghazal

Acha tu zara mujhy "Murakaby Izafi" or "Murakaby Tosifi"ka fraq samjhaiy I mean donon ki twareef type kr dijiy meherbani frma kr. **
**Bat farsi ki nahi yeh "murakab-e- Tusifi hy tu nadan dil Murakab-e-izafi tu nadan ka dil.

Looks like ghalib apny dil sy mukhatib hy to yeh Tosifi hy ky ay nadan dil tujhy kia ho giya(dill zalim bhi apny qabo main nahi:D)

Re: Ek Ghazal

le.jeeaay janab , Ghalib kay chakar mein mayree poetry tu 'taaqaay Nassee.yaan ' hoo gahee !

Chachaa Ghalib yea sab howa kia hai
Tayray Kalaam ki SHaahraa kia hai

:(

Re: Ek Ghazal

^ LOL@ the sher

Murrakkab-e-Izaafi is when you combine two words to make one word and Murrakkab-e-Tauseefi is the combination of two words that provide an attribute of the object :P

khush?

Re: Ek Ghazal

Nahi :naraz: Urdu main biyan karo:D

Re: Ek Ghazal

Rehnay dain, us pay bee Anwar bahi just gona say

Zab’nay Yaar maan Urdu , wa maan Urdu namii Danaam

Re: Ek Ghazal

khoob