A usual comment you’d often hear is “Eid is for the kids”. I think its only partly true. Eid is for everyone. Should be. And could be. It’s an occassion of sharing happiness, blessings and joy for all muslims.
A lot of Eid celebrations are very cultural and varies from family to family. As we go through this year after year with our kids, we try to establish enjoyable and fun traditions for them to remember and cherish this time. Even though for us, and for many of you, Eid is being celebrated away from our extended families. Large families were an integral part of our lives as we grew up in Pakistan. Eid is always a national holiday in Pakistan, which is different from here, where we have now made it a rule that regardless of which day of the week eid falls, everyone takes the day off. But more about that later.
Earliest Memories of Eid
The Anticipation:
My earliest memories of Eid ul Fitr go way back when I was very young. The whole deal really starts much before the actual Eid day. During Ramzaan, the anticipation builds up. My sister, ofcourse, will be in the forefront to make sure she has her dresses ready (purchased/tailored etc). Me and my brother will be kinda indifferent, but will make sure Ami gets us new shalwaar kameez and shoes atleast one week before Eid. The aniticipation grows as we would observe qiyaam-e-lail during Taaq-raats of Ramzaan. It used to be a big deal in our home, and various friends and relatives will come over to our place to spend the entire night in search of Lailat-ul-Qadr. As very young kids, this will be a time to offer long namaazein with grown ups and many times, just fall asleep on ja’namaaz.
Chaand Raat:
Chaand raat, which is the night before Eid would always be a chaotic event. First, there is the classic uncertainty of whether the moon will be sighted or not. Every year, our ammi will make sure we are outside our home at maghrib on Chaand raat to try and spot the moon. Invariably, year after years, I was singularly unable to sight a single eid moon, even when others will swear they can see it. As a back up, we’ll be glued to the television screens waiting for the announcement from the rout-e-hilaal committee (comprised of really really old gentlemen) who’d tell us whether moon has been sighted or not. It was an era before internet and moonsighting.com or any clue that there is a more scientific way we can know whether moon will infact be sighted or not. Our only source of information was a single television channel and as soon as the announcement is made there will be cheers and hugs and a broad smile on everyone’s faces. My ammi will immediately disappear in kitchen to prepare sawayan (virmicelli) and gulab jaaman and other assorted items to be served to guests the next day. While me, my brother and my father will accompany my sister to Liberty market, so she can get her churian (bangles) and other assortments for the next day. Why she always kept it for the last day, and the madness that was “Chaand Raat in Liberty market” will forever be a mystery for me. In retrospect, that was again, one of the findest memories for me.
The Television and the Long Night:
We only had one television channel in Pakistan at that time, and it will really be amusing to see hours of ads on the television that just say “falanay mithai house ki taraf se, sabb nazreen ko dilli eid mubarak” followed by “banjarai manjana bananay walon ki taraf se, sab nazreen ko eid ki khushiyan mubarak” and so on. These chain will be broken a few times by some stale songs sung by singers who were ordered not to move from the spot they are standing. And then back to advertising. For whatever reason, this remains a very stark and hilarious part of my memories of those days. It will always be a long night, with friends dropping in late to wish us “chaand raat mubarak” (not “eid mubarak”, mind you) with cakes and mithai etc. And we will make sure to remind them to come in again the next day. We’ll go to sleep very late.
Eid Day:
Next day, ammi will wake us up very early, so we can take a bath and get into our new eid clothes. My father, brother and I will then walk to the neighborhood masjid. People who’d be walking with us will be reciting the takbeer loudly as they make their way to the masjid. It will always be a very crowded day at the masjid, so we had to make sure to get their early. There is virtually no concept of Eid day without offering Eid ki namaaz. Completely unheard of. After the namaz is over, we will spend the next 15-20 minutes hugging three times every one in the masjid whom we know. Once back at home, there will be customary “eid mubarak” and hugs with all the ladies in the house, and an immediate insistance that we need our Eidis. Eidi was always cash, and never boxed gifts. And it was always crisp new rupee bills, which my ammi will invariably get from the bank before the actual eid day. And then the phone calls will start, from relatives who are in other cities, and a seemingly interminable line of guests dropping in who will be served the tradition eid fare, of sawayeaan, various sorts of mithai, cholay etc. Each guest is expected to give us Eid, just as my parents are expected to give out Eidi to their kids. At some point during the day, we will all load up in our car and go on a visiting spree ourselves. None of the visits would be long. 30 minutes will be the standard and we will nibble at every place with whatever their family recipe of eid fare had produced. Right after a month of fasting, this over-eating will be the worst offender to our body’s metabolic system. By evening, my brother was always ready to throw up at the mere mention of the word “food”.
Eidi:
We never had formal eid milan parties then. Going house to house, and receiving all the relatives and friends at our home throughout the day, was the tradition. The next two days (nicknamed “tarru” and “marru”) will be similar. Although by third day, the line of guests will drop off, and we’ll mostly be relaxing, playing games in our home, and making plans on how to spend the hard-earned eidi. This will be after the usual competition with all the cousins as to who got the most. My parents were careful never to fall in this trap, and kept the amount of eidi strictly at Rs 5 or 10 for a number of years; the real spoilers will be my grand parents, who’d lavish me with Rs 15 and “ssshhhh” me not to tell anyone, because I got the most! And I never did tell anyone. Ah! the innocence.
Modern Day Eid:
Fast forward to today. With our three kids and being out of Pakistan with no long line of relatives here, we improvised on our Eid traditions. We are lucky to have a big group of truly wonderful community here. We believe its up to us to to make sure our kids remember back to this time with as much fondness as we remember ours. The logisitics of being out of Pakistan means the preparation for getting kids’ eid clothes start much much earlier, as they will be send from Pakistan every year by their grand parents.
Chand Raat:
Chaand raat will always be at one of our friend’s place where all the group gets together. Food is usually potluck. There is hinna for girls. Ladies sing songs on dholki. Guys improvise by way of playing on X-box, movies and pool. The festivities go till about mid night, and gets the kids all readied up for the big day.
Eid Day:
The next day, we’ll get ready for the eid ki namaaz. My son always accompanies me to the namaaz, all dressed up in his newest shalwaar kameez and koti from Pakistan. We’ll meet a lot of friends after the Eid ki namaaz, and just as I remember from my childhood, my friends will hug my son by literally picking him up from the floor and making sure the three times head shake count is complete. Traditionally the Eid day breakfast is at our place, where all our closest friends gather after Eid ki namaaz. There will be customary distribution of eidis to all the kids. And after the breakfast, we’d head off as a group to the Eid Festival which is organized every Eid by the local community. There are food stalls, swings and other rides for the kids. It is usually the highlight of the day for the kids as they can take as many rides as their eidis will permit. We’ll meet almost every one in our community there. The culture in US, at least in our community, is different than what it is in Pakistan. Here people don’t just drop in at someone else’s place unannounced. In most instances, folks only visit when they are invited for a formal party or something. So, its nice to connect with a lot of people on Eid, whom we’d probably only meet at Eid time.
Eid Milan Party:
Every Eid, in the evening a group of friends organize a formal Eid Milan party. There will be a magic show for kids. A musical show for everyone. Lots of catered food and the evening lasts pretty late. This is an alternative to make sure people don’t spend a lot of time going home to home meeting and greeting. Instead everyone is at the same place at the same time and enjoy a good party. This year we have toned down the affair, by limiting it to a magic show for kids and having a subtle fund-raising drive for the victims of earthquake in Pakistan. Hopefully, this will raise awareness in the kids about philanthropy and how to keep the more unfortunate ones in our minds while celebrating.
