Ok, so here is a real life problem. There is a guy, who is subordinate to me in terms of standing, but he knows a LOT when it comes to one topic area. That ONE topic area - in other areas, I’d say he’s average, or at least he knows how to get away with it when he’s not sure of something.
So, I have to work with him AGAIN on an upcoming thing, and the area we will be focusing on will be HIS area of expertise. Now to put it in perspective this guy is from India, has way better basic training than I do prolly with the way some of their schools are, and to top it off, he’s done a lot of research in this area, so he knows things like the back of his hand. He can quote stuff that I have no use in memorizing, since I wont be using it in the future.
So, although I’m higher than in him in standing/years whatever, his knowledge is at the level of someone who is specializing in this stuff already.
Now, what gets frustrating is the guy has a huge ego, and looks down upon me already with little respect. Multifactorial I think.
He clearly dislikes Pakistanis, made fun of Pakistan once at work, which I thought was out of line, but I kept quiet about it
He and his friends - for sure - I know are the kind that view a woman is better left in the kitchen. Even made jokes at my expense over something like this which resulted in me reaming him out at work → this led to him complaining about me, and although HIS actions have been out of line and I was reacting, I was the one who got in trouble because he got to the bosses before I could.
Since then there has been bad blood between us, and usually I just ignore him and do my own work, and as our paths have not really crossed, it hasn’t been a huge problem.
However, I have to work with this a-hole again, and I find it hard to keep my cool.
Just last week, in fact, we were in a meeting, and he was trying to make a point that was far too advanced for the setting (we are not in a specialty conference of sorts, and you are NOT there yet, so calm down), to the point that even the lecturer was put on the spot having to admit he doesn’t know the answer to this guy’s question.
The lecturer and this guy went back and forth about something, and I made the mistake of impatiently piping up “I think you two are actually saying the same thing”, and he replies VERY IRRITATED “No, no, no that’s not what he’s saying” - as if admonishing me. Plus he has a heavy desi way of talking, so it comes across like he’s admonishing his kid.
I feel like kicking this a-hole’s ass back to India. First of all, he is taking up a seat in a position where even our own American grads are now having trouble placing, so be appreciative that you’re in my country, you prick. Secondly, he has no intention of staying here and working, feels his India is way better, and plans on going back. Great, then go back.
Third, I have no idea how to deal with a desi guy with a huge ass ego, that probably doesn’t like me for being a girl, muslim, and not as smart as him in his particular topic area.
We will probably have to occasionally help each other out in the next weeks to come, but we’re not directly working on the same tasks, but we will be in the same room and talking over cases in a combined fashion.
My tactic was to just ignore him completely and just focus on my work. But not sure how I’m gonna control my temper when he says something.