Hi, myself and my tunisian husband(who is muslim but not practising) have been trying for a baby but have now been told we need ivf. We do not qualify for it on nhs as i already have a son from a previous marragie. we can’t afford the 3000 pounds for it not to work.
the hospitail has said that i can share my eggs with another lady who’s eggs are no good, then we can get ivf for 700 pounds. My hubby agreed to this at first but after the councilling he said no. can you tell me if it is allowed in islam if im christian and he is muslim. thanks.
I would go to an Islamic site such as Sunnipath or Islam Q&A, don't think anyone on here will know for sure.. Hope it all works out for u.. Btw have u looked into having treatment done abroad as it can cost a fraction of the price that we pay in the UK..
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Wow. This is a really complicated situation. One which I think you will find many conflicting answers to, answers differing depending on who you ask.
I think the issue may boil down to your egg and eventually your biological baby being born to another man. The scriptures have not caught up to todays medical technologies...
Would your husband change his mind if he were told that its islamically acceptable for you to donate your eggs?
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
As far as my research goes .. It wouldnt be allowed as she would be having another mans baby cos obviously it takes two to tango :@: ..
2ndly, He no offence to you ..shuld nt be marrying non muslim ...and if he aint practicing ..then it doesnt really make a difference if you guys went through with it or not ..Islams got nothing to with it ..but if boh you guys were muslims ..then ..there is alternative sollution to this i beleive .. as someone in my immediate family who couldnt concieve got the best of the best treatment .. and now they have a baby boy ..mashaAllah ..it took a few years but as they say ..sabr ka phall meetha hota hai ..
i ll look into it further ..
ps. sorry if i was a lil harsh :)
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
fbi, Muslim men are entitled and blessed to marry "children of the book"....which means Muslim, Christian or Jew.
She would not be "having" another man's baby either....she will be donating her egg, another woman will carry it and give birth to it. Thats where religions have not caught up to technology.
The issue here hasnt to do with going to the best docs - its the ability to afford the treatment.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
I did find this site when I was looking into treatment. I don’t know how reliable it is, but it may help:
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Fbi786 
read her post closely, I’m amazed at how people post replies without reading the whole message properly.
She’s not a muslim she’s a Christian and she’s married to a non-practicing Muslim man, she’s asking if she can donate her eggs to another woman so they can afford treatment for themselves.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
From what I have studied regarding infertility treatments, any third-party involvement is not allowed, meaning the "goods" all should be from the husband and wife. Egg donation, sperm donation, surrogacy etc are all not permitted. If taking eggs from another would not be allowed, then I dont see how giving eggs to another would be allowed, as it is not something the other woman should be taking in the first place. I suggest you discuss with a trusted scholar in your locality to verify
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Mahmoudi, why did your husband first agree and then refuse? You said he is a non-practicing muslim, so why would an Islamic ruling change his mind?
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
i have heard that you aren’t allowed to donate your eggs in islam. nor allowed to use another man’s sperm etc etc. islam doesn’t allow surrogate mothers etc.
also if you donate your eggs, and other women use them, you will have kids out there and be the mother of children you will never get to meet etc.
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/religion-scripture/299852-egg-donation-allowed-islam.html
read mirch’s post in the above thread.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Thanks for all your replies. Its such a difficult situation to be in. My hubby agreed to it i the fist place I think just to keep me happy . But he changed his mind as he says he is not comfortable with it... no explanation just those words . when i try to get him to elaborate further he just get angry and wont talk about it. Its drving me mad crazy as i do not wantto pay the full 4000 for treatment incase it doesnt work
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Mahmoudi, if you think about it from his point of view...you actually are creating life with another man. Sure, there are legal barriers, you will not know who he is and all that...but fact remains, even though there is no contact whatsoever, you will have procreated with another man.
Even leaving religion completely out of the discussion, thats a pretty big pill to swallow yeah?
Mahmoudi, if you think about it from his point of view...you actually are creating life with another man. Sure, there are legal barriers, you will not know who he is and all that...but fact remains, even though there is no contact whatsoever, you will have procreated with another man.
Even leaving religion completely out of the discussion, thats a pretty big pill to swallow yeah?
Yes your correct but I don't think about it in that way. how I look at it i will be helping a poor woman who cant have a child and helping ourselves at the same time . You dont have to know the result of the recipent . I can block that side of it out of my head.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
I actually see your point and agree. But...you have to think about the future too. And thats likely where your hubby is getting hung up.
The child will very likely want to meet you at some point in his/her life. By donating your egg, there is the possibility that it will one day happen. When you procreate, you are forever tied to the child and in a remote and high-tech way, to the child's father too.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Not thinking about it the way Mamaof3 described doesn't mean that it isn't the reality of the situation. Just because you don't carry the fetus doesn't mean that it doesn't retain your genetic information, which makes it half of you (and not half of her, regardless of her blood in it's veins). It's going to look like you and the man who fertilizes it, not the woman who carries it.
If you really want another child so badly, why not adopt? There are millions of children that need people to care for them, why do people seem to forget that so much?
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Noor, thats almost exactly what my mom said to me when I was in the midst of infertility treatments.
The thing is...adoption was always an option for sure. But when you love your spouse truly and deeply, you want to give them the greatest gift of all. A new life thats half you and half your spouse. Its extremely compelling and something that many people go to great lengths for. Adoption is usually the last resort - when the couple has run out of emotional steam to continue the gut-wrenching process of infertility and its resulting problems.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
^adoption is also much more expensive than people realize.
Re: egg sharing if one partner is muslim
Adoption is not as expensive as infertility treatments. (Well, I am in the US, where all medical stuff is expensive. You've got NHS.) But there are enough children in the world who do not have parents or good homes. (Get a readymade! I did!)
Oh the complications you are letting yourself in for if you go the route you're asking about! Yikes!
And just how much is it really YOUR baby? Yes, half the genetic material is yours, but none of it would be your husband's whom you wish to make this "gift" to. And it wouldn't even be bathed with your hormones and chemicals during gestation. Better you are both on equal ground: let it be a baby that is neither of your genetic material, whom you both love as you love each other: because you choose to.