the fact that he was called something different does not change that in islam there is no restriction on someone raising a child not biologically their own.
I don't think I implied complete restriction of any sort. What I meant is that after revelation, the cultural norm to call someone and think of an adopted child is your own was negated. Hence the name was changed. This used to be old arab norm which was abolished. No value of 'munh bola' as real relative.
Now with that some rules were clarified like hijab and being able to marry with divorce individual of adopted person was allowed.
guidelines get broken everyday, if the concern is hijab then mamay chahay cousins are not mehram either nor are classfellows, but that does not seem to be an issue in society at large.
rest is easily manageable anyeways.
in the end I dont think god will have a huge issue with someone not observing hijab to the max if on the other side it meant that kids who would otherwise be exploited and abused got a good home life.
I hear you and completely understand what you are saying.
But for other side of argument:
1- People do not choose our relatives like chacha mama. In adoption we do something actively to bring and raise someone from other family.
2- Two wrongs can not be considered as argument for making one or both correct.
I am only speaking of guidelines and fully aware of guidelines broken all the time. It is all up to the person and his/her intention.
The problem and issue is so big in some situations that some consensus must be sought. Some methods must be adopted (pun intended) to find a happy medium. Let's face it, adoption is a complex issue even if you take religion out of it.
With respect to the issue of IVF, it cannot be accepted for unmarried couples by any guidelines.
In the end, people are free and no one should be forcing other person to do or not to do.