I am a firm believer that education brings you enlightenment along with a degree and should not be considered only for a job but my belief always gets shaken whenever I enter Life 1 . I understand people of my mom’s age having MIL/FIL/anyIL issues as the older generation was not educated properly, like my paternal grandmother doesn’t even know how to read or write. Also not having different perspectives due to lack of media, entertainment, information etc. was a factor so most of the older generation used to do what they have seen their elders or others doing.
But now a days when people are getting married they will be most probably going to educated families and will be educated themselves to a certain level. Still we are seeing the same type of saas bahu issues occurring not only on GS but also among majority of the married ppl I have met which does not make sense to me. In some cases both parties (The couple and their families) are highly educated but they lack the skills that we gain while educating our selves like logical thinking, compassion, compromise, learning from other’s experiences etc.
Like shouldn’t the MIL’s of this age be more compassionate towards their bahus’s after having their own experiences or shouldn’t today’s bahus be more logical and understanding about their inlaws knowing that it’s someone’s son they are marrying.
May be we didn’t learned anything in school or may be we did but don’t want to apply in real life then what’s the point of having an education?
Education we are getting these days is more career oriented specially in our part of the world it has nothing to do with enlightenment.
How to (and how not to) talk to you elders, how to control your tongue, how not to cheat in business, why shouldn’t we lie etc all these things have nothing to do with science or math or physics or economics books. There always were and always will be 2 building blocks of successful person/human and those are Taleem & Tarbiyat.
While main source of taleem is school/colleges and universities main source of Tarbiyat was, is and will always be home, family and mother. Even from religious point of view. Take any religion, mother does not have high position/status/importantce for no reason.
…and then many people are so dheet k education un ka kuch bhi nahi bigar sakte.
education never means enlightenment ... NEVER EVER ..
simple proof ... Most of the educated people voted for PMLN :p ... does this mean they are enlightened :p ...
jokes apart .... its really hard for a person to change his/her nature unless they are mature enough to understand their faults and look at the word with open mind. the education all of us gets is so career oriented that no one ever tries to groom a person.
Like shouldn't the MIL's of this age be more compassionate towards their bahus's after having their own experiences or shouldn't today's bahus be more logical and understanding about their inlaws knowing that it's someone's son they are marrying.
I think years of just putting up with it and having to keep quiet rather than trying to find an actual solution (and by this I don't mean shouting at your mil lol) turns a lot of women in those situations very bitter and so the cycle continues..
i feel like maybe since they went through a tough time as a bahu, they feel like its their turn to be the evil MIL.. sadly, women can be very jealous creatures.. i think a mother naturally feels jealous when her son has another woman in his life. especially in desi culture, where sons are valued alot more than daughters, mothers tend to be very proud of having a son. as sick as it sounds, its really obvious that they are jealous of their DIL. one of my friends mother cried so much before her sons wedding, she said a part of her felt really sad that her son would belong to another woman. i dont really understand this behavior though since im not a mother.
My personal experience: manners are not being taught in school anymore, and if you try to teach manners in school, you actually get blocked. Do you know how many detentions/suspensions/expulsions I had written for “behavior problems”, that the administration kicked back and repealed? Even making a student write lines as a punishment for his behavior problems - they made me stop doing that.
wth.
Needless to say, I dropped the job. Few parents wanted to work on their kids behavior problems, but I found a lot of parents had a sense of entitlement that if their kid misbehaved in class, it was you the teacher that actually had the problem. My colleagues had abandoned the culture of disciplining the kid, and instead sucked up to the kids. The best teachers were those that were “cool” with it if the class just wanted to chit chat, and no problem, we spent like 20 min of a 40 min class actually learning so why not let the kids chill for the remaining 20 min?
I don’t know what’s happened to education these days, but I have a fear that increasingly degrees are meaning nothing, and it’s because someone with a degree may be a total douche and difficult to work with and a poor employee.
And likewise, they are a poor friend, poor husband, poor wife, but yet hold degrees next to their name…I’m personally not surprised seeing how this kind of “training” gets ingrained in kids in grade school.
And these things are happening in Pakistan too. We have a lot of teachers in our family - same crap.
. I understand people of my mom’s age having MIL/FIL/anyIL issues as the older generation was not educated properly, like my paternal grandmother doesn’t even know how to read or write. Also not having different perspectives due to lack of media, entertainment, information etc. was a factor so most of the older generation used to do what they have seen their elders or others doing.
