Education, a help or a hindrance?

[Reha]

Re: Education, a help or a hindrance?

@Sehrah

So basically I have a friend who’s in her late 30’s now and she’s not married. Her father is a really old family friend and mashAllah, she’s really educated and is now a high up medical research scientist and earns a lot of money. She was one of my inspirations when I was at high school and college.

But she’s still not married, I feel now she’s just given up. Her father is really protective and doesn’t want her to end up with some guy who will make her work and depend on her wage but in the UK for some weird reason Pakistani girls do better in education than the guys so you always see weird marriages of a female Dr marrying an estate agent etc She was almost engaged once but her father wasn’t happy because the guy ran his father’s taxi business and some other small businesses.

Now my parents have a prospective guy for her, this time the guy has been to University but he’s been married before, do you think it’s acceptable for her to lower her expectations, I feel that her father will again just flat out say no, which is why no one has said anything…

Also what do you think of really educated women, should they marry men less educated than them or should women expect their husband’s wage and education to be higher than theirs?

Education is not a hindrance unless you make it one. You can either use it to open up your mind to different possibilities OR you can use it to limit yourself from experiencing the most interesting people. Its upto you what you make of it.

Everything in moderation. Holding out for someone that is right for you is great. But passing up nice people because they arent as educated as you…is not so great. That is wasting time and life.

You have to consider how different girls have it from boys. Most girls I know of have the luxury of simply continuing their education after bachelors without a hiccup. They have families supporting them. Most men go straight to work after completing bachelors and support their families. They will go back to school for post grad work once they’ve worked a few years. So is it fair to expect the man to be as educated as the woman? He has work experience and that should count for something.

Marrying someone divorced is not lowering your standards. Someone said that to me once. This guy who had never been married…he claimed to like me but was afraid of what his family would say as I was divorced. Then, he said he didnt want to disappoint them. Thats when I said bu-bye to him. Thinking you’re lowering your standards is already starting off on the wrong foot. Everyone has baggage in one shape or another. Its a relationship for some people or an overprotective father for some. If the man cannot be taken for who he is today…right now…just the way he is with no editing or future plans to “fix him”…then he should not be considered. If his divorce makes him less of a person or a disappointment or a not-so-great-of-a-catch…then dont even suggest him.

As for the part of women marrying less educated men than them. Well, its all about personality and how open minded people are. Some people without a degree are far more wise and knowledgeable than those with a degree. I know some very jaahil people that have been awarded masters degrees too. I know some very jaahil people who have never seen the face of an educational institution…4th grade and thats it. If he is a good guy, has a decent job, is friendly and still isnt pining after his ex-wife…he should be considered.

Remember: bad things happen to good people too.