I am OBSESSED with my weight. I have a certain medical problem which causes me to lose alot of weight when I get sick sometimes, and during those days I could easily lose anywhere between 5-12 lbs. Because of that I started eating more meals than I normally would and alot more junk to sorta keep up with my weight. I dont like being stick thin, I prefer curves. But sometimes I eat way more than I need to and I gain like an extra 5 or 10 pounds–which my doctor tells me is not overweight at all for my build, rather is actually healthy-- which bothers me when I step on the scale, but not really so much when I dress myself each morning. I have a certain numerical weight that I have always set as my ideal weight and going 1 lb up or down actually kinda saddens me 
So now, if I gain weight-- I starve myself. Or the opposite.. when I lose weight- I binge like no tomorrow. I actually think I might be addicted to food. Everytime Im sad or unhappy or angry or frustrated or downright depressed–I immediately think of food and it gives me something to look forward to. Pathetic, yes I know.
I work out alot and yet I cant seem to get the diet thing under control. Im back to chocolate and baked goods addiction. I have to have a chocolate a day. Anything sweet or baked. I have alot of friends the same way as me, but to them its not a problem cuz they dont care if they gain a pound here or there, but for me I care.. I care ALOT and yet I still cant stop.
Im scared that this food addiction is gonna make me horribly obese or the opposite end of the spectrum.. the starvation is gonna make me get those scary anorexia/bulimia eating disorders.
How do I find a happy medium??
