Okay I came across this article in the Op/Ed section of the Daily news and I found it pretty interesting. It’s about marriage in the eastern wrold, vs marriage in teh western world. More and more americans are finding it hard to find “the one”, so they’re turning to matchmaking services like match.com, speed dating, even bar-hopping…whereas more desis (and other easterners) are opening up to the idea of having more of a say in who they marry. I doubt either system will ever take on traits of the other, (like desis bar-hopping to find thier spouse and goray letting their parents handle finding a spouse) but IMO it’s the best of both worlds, making dating more serious but giving the couple more independnce now htan the earlier generations had.
**
East and West may be a match made in heaven **
*Meddling columnist, enjoys travel, baking, butting into other people’s lives, seeks spouses for all her single friends … and everyone else.
- Yup, that’s my personal profile. I want everyone who is lonely to find a match, which is why I wish more Americans would get over this whole dating thing and just say yes to arranged marriage. Preferably arranged by me, but I’m open.
About half the people in the world depend on arranged marriage, and it sure looks like they’ve got it made. They never have to worry about bar-hopping, or picking the perfect picture for Match.com, or living together for a couple years until one day, “Bye, it’s been fun!”
What’s not to like?
That’s what Rochester Institute of Technology economist Amit Batabyal set out to explore: Which creates more happiness in the world - “love marriages” or arranged ones? Unfortunately, he never could actually figure it out, since divorce is rare in countries with arranged marriages. But he did learn something promising: The two approaches to marriage are starting to converge.
You see, when Americans on dating Web sites dutifully enter their age, education level, height (more or less) and weight (less), they are providing pretty much the same information any matchmaker would have demanded. The dating service has simply computerized the job of finding folks suited to each other.
In the meantime, Batabyal has found, back home in his native India, the matchmaking model is loosening up. Even 20years ago, two people betrothed by their parents might have had little say in the matter - especially the girl. But thanks to exposure to the West, most young people have veto power today.
East is meeting West and everyone is benefiting. But Batabyal thinks now the West should move a little further to the east, and he’s right. Consider how well his own case worked out:
When Batabyal reached 28, he had yet to find a nice girl in his adopted country of America. So instead of continuing the search on his own, he asked his parents for help. Back home, his father called up an old friend who had a daughter the same age. Batabyal flew to India to look into it - seriously, as his culture demands. The families had tea. Then Batabyal took the young woman out for more tea - unaccompanied - and they talked for hours.
“The key difference between meeting and dating in America versus India is that both of us knew exactly why we were there,” says Batabyal. “We knew we were considering the possibility of getting married.”
That’s what Americans have to change about their spouse-hunting habits. I’d like to see a Web site that, like a real matchmaker, provides only a very few matches for each person. Let’s say five. Members would have to treat each date as a marriage interview and, within a matter of weeks, say yes to one of them.
All right - that’s a radical notion. But as long as we’ve got electronic matchmaking, let’s use it as that, instead of as electronic date-after-date finding. Arranged marriage may be too much to ask of modern Americans, but endless, aimless dating seems far worse.
here’s the link:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ideas_opinions/story/446914p-376302c.html