In past couple of years some of my friends got married. I personally know 5 couples at a close friends level. Since all of them got married at early age & the way they r living their life now, i have a reason to beleive getting married early infact, is better.
I could be wrong or i could only be right in these perticular cases, anyways would like to hear ur views. Here r some of my observations & conclusions.
Bcoz of the young age life is more dynamic, & u r more emotional, a small happiness is a big one & a small problem is a big trouble, & u face those all together at a time when u r more sensitive & it creates a more stronger bond between u. Things like ur graduation, ur first job, having only $2.5 in ur pocket & u go out for a dinner.
Secondly, u havent met too many nice ppl in ur life & u have not yet tryed to fell in love with them. But when u get married in most cases u close that option already, so the only best person as a partner remains is actually ur partner & u never start thinking as “agar us se shadi ki hoti tu acha tha”.
Thirdly, u grow together & shapping ur life was easier, since u were more emotional u try to kill the habits ur partner dont like & create those the ones s/he likes. At older age chages like this r often difficult to make.
In more mature age even if ur life has so many ups & downs u try to resolve ur problems with ur brains & there is not much of a emotions involved thus perhaps those events does not make u two closer as much as it does if u were young.
Some points are interesting but not valid all the time. IMO developing understaning is difficult if the marriage takes place later stages of life i.e 35 or older for men, 30 or older for women.
At that time we have developed, personality, with less or no flexibility.
bilkul baja farmaya aap ne JB uncle boht achay points haen so when r u calling doing amal on ur mashwara :Pagri: :insha: boht dino se mein ne koi valima nai khaya please make it either Sheraton or PC :roman:
Very good points raised JBR…Very good insight and I agree wholeheartedly to each and every one of your points…
Get married as soon as you are able…Not only do you protect yourself from a lot of harm, you gain a lifelong friend too…
What I however don’t fail to see, is how come a person who can have such great insight into relations and marriage, have a childish argument over the internet with a good guy like Ata and then have him banned from his friends?
Let bygones be bygones…You aren’t richer and he isn’t poorer…Well, maybe he is poorer, for losing touch with his GS friends, which is not really nice…
Early marriages are a good idea (and is encouraged in islam), but our society and culture make it so difficult to happen. Look at all the demands people make. It just means people will continue to commit sins instead.
Early marriages do have benefits, the couple is more flexible and it is easy to adjust to the new situations. But the point is what do you call as early...completing education is a must even if the marriage is early...so i believe early twenties are early and early thirties are late...the bond can however be strong even if the marriage is late as it depends on the personalities of the individuals and their compatibility rather than on age.
it depends what age is early, i think early is 18-22, the right time for marriage in my view is 24/25, although your views may be different but im not so sure about early marriages, granted some work out but then there are some that dont, a girl i know is 18 years of age and already has a baby daughter, i think its a strain on her, she just aint that girl anymore, she looks so worn out, not the bubbly vivacious girl i knew. her husband is a bit of a pain as well, he treats her like dirt and she didnt even complete her education of A-Levels, poor girl.
Then theres this other couple (now divorced) she was 19 he was 21, he couldnt handle her lip, she was always outspoken, he wanted her to abide by his rules and the result- divorce. i think when you are younger you dont want to compromise and you dont realise how it can become a big problem. Then again it doesnt matter if you have an early marriage or a late one an arranged one or a love one, if it is not gonna work out it wont and if is gonna work out it will, its all up to Allah swt. these were just my views, i might be wrong but thats the way i see it. hope i havent offended anyone.
Early marriages are a good idea, I think as soon as they hit puberty marry them off to a suitable partner, if the boys family are financially stable and can support their children in law then they should provide for them till the couple are independent or otherwise the girls parents could carry on paying for the girls upbringing. Education is not an issue, they can carry on studying like anyone else and do things everyone else does, plenty of kids have boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and that doesn’t seem to hinder them in anything, in fact it can do if it’s lust based one night stands as opposed to a love based long-term relationship. Having kids is not a good idea till you’re independent, contraception is a good idea, I’ve seen 10 year olds in Pakistan giving birth and that’s just wrong, the babies turn out perfectly normal but they are neglected, the mother should be mature enough to care for them properly.
Thanks Johnny for the wonderful post. I myslef have seen so many friends living much better than me since they got married. I myslef would never send my son abroad until I get him married.
Anyway, Earlier the better. Lets get married as soon as possible. Any suggestions where I should start?
Early marriage do have their benefits as some outlined above and marrying early on is Islamically encouraged but I think a person needs to be emotionally stable and mature to embark on this mission of sorts…not mature age-wise necessarily but mentality-wise. That is the important thing.
A case against early marriages…in our desi community, I have witnessed a few marriages where the couple is young and very unhappy with each other. However I would hope to God that such situations are rare.
bilkul baja farmaya aap ne JB uncle boht achay points haen 
so when r u calling doing amal on ur mashwara :Pagri: :insha: boht dino se mein ne koi valima nai khaya 
please make it either Sheraton or PC :roman:
